So did you meet the August 8 deadline? Apologies for my lateness! With all good intentions, I failed to take into account that some parts of OZ have no mobile or internet coverage! I guess better late than never! So onto Step 2.
Step 2: Uncover what you are getting out of procrastinating?
So what did the previous exercise tell you? What insights did you get I wonder?
Now it’s time to understand what you are actually getting out of procrastination! This takes some in-depth exploration. You may find it useful to discuss your answers with someone who knows you well and has had the opportunity to observe your behaviour consistently for at least six months. Otherwise, a good coach will speed this process up and help you get these answers quickly and efficiently. A good coach nails this stuff with you in a few sessions if you really want to overcome it!
What pay-offs are you getting? You really need to understand these. The obvious ones are what positives you get out of procrastinating, and more importantly what you get to avoid doing!
More often than not though, the REAL pay-off is an unconscious motivator. By virtue of it being ‘unconscious’ you are unlikely to be able to point to the answer quickly. A pay-off is generally associated with a negative driver (significant negative subconscious self belief). This subject is too sensitive and involved to discuss in a blog. However some of the more obvious and more common ones are “I’m not good enough”, “I/things must be perfect”, “I’m not strong enough”, I can’t cope”, “I can’t do anything right” etc.....
Be careful not to just accept what comes to you first up. This is just your psyche dishing up the same old same old. The real insight is harder to grasp! This is where a skilled and experienced coach can help you nail the REAL reason for your behaviour.
For instance, you may perceive that the pay off you get by not doing your admin tasks every week in your small business, is that you get to AVOID BORING TASKS and you have WAY more important tasks to do. But actually the real meaning you are attaching to it, when you really drill down is that you are fearful that your profit is not on target. So whilst our logical mind knows you may have a financial issue, thinking that its probable and knowing for a fact are two different things!! Because the latter actually means you will need to do something about it if you do not wish to make the situation worse, procrastination is helping you put off the pain of knowing! So the real reason is your fear of serious financial loss!
I know most people dislike the idea that their behaviour is often motivated by fear, and many out-rightly reject it (which is just a resistance mechanism) but most of our behaviour, particularly behaviour that is a disservice to us is motivated by fear!!
Without going into a great deal of explanation about it, there are 7 main fears that drive most of our behaviour. If you keep drilling down and asking yourself honestly what you fear, your answer will be based on one of the following:-
1. Fear of breaking away from a value system held by society (e.g. law, church, professional)
2. Fear of poor mental capability (e.g. not smart enough, not educated enough)
3. Fear of failure/success (coming up short, not good enough)
4. Fear of financial loss (e.g. bankruptcy, not enough money)
5. Fear of losing loved ones (e.g. death, disownment, leaving you)
6. Fear of societal rejection (not fitting in, not being liked)
7. Fear of poor physical capability (e.g. not strong enough, not tall enough)
Now it may seem to you that fear driving your behaviour doesn't make sense, since procrastination is just putting off the inevitable. Well you'd be right! It doesn't to your logical mind!!! But your psyche (sub conscious mind) is trying to protect you from having to face the pain of your fear, so procrastination is the key strategy of avoidance it uses to achieve that goal.
However procrastination can be a highly effective strategy. Many people delay pursuing their dreams and allowing their fears to run their whole life without ever acknowledging they lived out a fear based protection mechanism. Think about those people you've heard say, I would have, could have, should have done x, y, or z - yes, they are living examples of this process in practice.
So the REAL question is, do you really want to be doing the woulda, shoulda, coulda gig for the next 10, 20, 30 - 70 years or do you want to live your life and achieve your dreams???
If you are about the latter, then you really need to work out what is really driving your procrastination? Get to the answer and release yourself from this current level of procrastination!
More explanation on this next week. Until then....
Get Cracking ;)
Showing posts with label life coaching. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life coaching. Show all posts
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
Procrastination - Part Two....
TA DA! Yes I can get things done when I want to!! So in the spirit of following my own coaching, here is part 2 of the series on procrastination.
I know you are all dying to know what the QUICK FIX is. Sorry, no can do! Look elsewhere for that answer!
If you have read my blogs, you’ll guess that I’m the kind of coach that deals in reality. I help people become successful, achieve their dreams and create the life they desire, by dealing with their limiting and unhelpful beliefs, perceptions and thinking systems.
I get results for people, because I use what works! I know what drives performance and outcomes and I help others get it. And how you get it, is through putting in time, energy, effort and focus on yourself and what you want. You have to be ready and prepared to work on yourself and take 100% responsibility for your outcomes.
Does that sound harsh or unfair to you? If so, you are likely to be in the 90% of the herd looking to blame others or events and seek your quick fix pill. I know you don’t want hear this, but there is NO quick fix (not for anything) and YOU are 100% responsible for what shows up in your reality. This is often a hard concept to accept, but it doesn’t make it false! People who tell you otherwise, are just praying on your gullibility and your desire to have the wish fairy wave her wand over your head and fix your problems for you. Yes that does sound wonderful I know! We can all dream, but reality, is reality.
Success, Achievement and therefore coaching is about facing reality and dealing with it. THAT is how you get phenomenal success. There is a formula that all successful people know and understand and all I can tell you is it is not about quick fixes.
So in that vein, here’s the first step to put your focus, time, energy and effort into.
Step 1: First thing is to recognise that you are actually procrastinating :)
It is important to be self aware! I think it’s Dr Phi who says “YOU CANNOT CHANGE WHAT YOU DON’T ACKNOWLEDGE”! As a coach, I know this to be 100% true. I cannot assist any client who refuses to acknowledge their own thinking and behaviours and the impact of those on their lives!
And our whole psyche is designed to filter out stuff that we choose to pretend doesn’t exist. Yes I said pretend! We all pretend stuff is not happening! The majority of the planet are walking around in denial a great deal of the time (way more than you or I could anticipate). This I also know to be true. I know it because of the science but also more powerfully, my own person experience. I have delved deeply within myself for 25 years and I see it in everyone I know and coach (and I know a lot of people)!!!!
So we all have our areas of denial. It’s now time to put a shining light on the things you are pretending NOT to notice! Therefore one of the main keys to success is to get SELF AWARE enough to know when you are doing it! Easier said than done - absolutely!!
Here are some questions to help you identify if you are procrastinating: -
• Is your day filled with unimportant or low priority tasks (think inside and outside of work)?
• Do you leave items/tasks on your To Do list for longer than 2 days?
• Do you have loads of To Do’s (written or in your head)?
• How much of your day is spent reviewing non-priority emails, watching TV, playing games, reading, on facebook (or other social media sites) or other non-productive, but pleasurable activities?
• Do you review emails/reports/voicemails and not doing anything with them straight away?
• Do you read the same thing more than once?
• Do you sit down to start a high-priority task, and almost immediately going off to do something else?
• Do you consider doing a task more than once, but still take no action to start it?
• Do you regularly agree to do unimportant tasks that others ask of you?
• Do you regularly agree to do things that you don’t want to do or don’t need to do?
• Do you find yourself waiting for the “right mood/inspiration/time” to tackle the important task at hand?
• Do you make up excuses and stories to yourself and others about why you haven’t done something or achieved something?
• Do you tell yourself that you perform better under pressure and tight deadlines?
If you have answered YES to any of the above, guess what? Yes, you my friend have been procrastinating. I know it, and more importantly YOU now know it ;)
Now for those people who answered yes to the last one, and are now telling the computer and themselves that that has absolutely nothing to do with procrastination, well think again! Yes it does. And I’m not going to tell you why for a couple of blogs yet! So now you have to keep reading. Oh LOL!
OK, so what I hear you say? So I procrastinate. No biggie! No it’s not, if you have every intention of leading a small, mediocre life! As highlighted in the last blog, procrastinating is our key self defeating behaviour. If you think you only do it occasionally and it has no impact on your life, then I ask you to consider the following questions honestly:
• Have I have achieved absolutely everything that I dreamed of for my life up until now?
• Am I in the top 10% of highly successful, top achievers in my area of expertise?
• Am I constantly achieving stretch goals and moving forward rapidly to greater success?
• Am I achieving what I want in ALL areas of my life?
If you can answer yes to all the above, then well done you! I congratulate you. You are one of few people who have overcome all their fears and have managed to find a truly balanced life!
However, most people cannot say that. Why? I know you have your reasons and excuses. But if you cannot accept that procrastinating is holding you back, then you will be unlikely to achieve the things you want in life (it will remain just dreams).
Just to be ultra clear - If you have consciously de-prioiritised a task for another high priority task and you complete both tasks, that is not procrastination but good time management. But make sure that this is true and genuine! At the end of the day, the only person you fool by not being truthful with yourself, IS yourself.
If you are serious about nailing procrastination, then I have some generic self help to assist you. Here is the first Overcoming Procrastination – template 1.
To give you a deadline (and me) this needs to be completed by 8 August. I am on holiday next week, but I will ensure I meet this commitment for you!
You need to do this exercise with focus and energy. It is often useful to buy a special note book to make your notes in. So take the time out of your day. Sit somewhere inspiring. Get in touch with yourself and ask yourself the questions on the template. Notice what the little voice says. Be honest with yourself. Notice both your logical reaction and the subconscious messages coming through. Read the question and pause. Let things come to you. Pay close attention to the thoughts at the back of your mind! Then read it again and pause. Do it until you could look me in the eye and say I answered this with 100% honesty and conviction. Because if you don’t you are just playing and now you’re using me to help you procrastinate. NOT HAPPY JAN!
But seriously, if procrastination is a strong pattern in your life, coaching is a highly effective method to enable you to move forward. It is my experience, that self help is only of limited value as our psyche’s are clever enough to make us think we are helping ourselves when in fact we are cementing the very thinking, beliefs and behaviours we are trying to overcome! I had this experience many times, and the AHA for me catapulted me into coaching and training. A skilled and experience coach can help you overcome procrastination faster and more effectively than you will ever do it yourself. Why? Because a skilled coach can hear and see what you are pretending not to notice and acts as a sounding board to help you see what is happening in your life.
I’m off to the fabulous Northern Territory for a Thelma & Louise style trip (for those of you old enough to remember the movie) and some inner reflection on the way!
So enjoy spending time with yourself and until next time.....
If you feel you want to accelarate getting this issue sorted out, coaching is the best way to achieve results by addressing your personal issues. Contact us today.
I know you are all dying to know what the QUICK FIX is. Sorry, no can do! Look elsewhere for that answer!
If you have read my blogs, you’ll guess that I’m the kind of coach that deals in reality. I help people become successful, achieve their dreams and create the life they desire, by dealing with their limiting and unhelpful beliefs, perceptions and thinking systems.
I get results for people, because I use what works! I know what drives performance and outcomes and I help others get it. And how you get it, is through putting in time, energy, effort and focus on yourself and what you want. You have to be ready and prepared to work on yourself and take 100% responsibility for your outcomes.
Does that sound harsh or unfair to you? If so, you are likely to be in the 90% of the herd looking to blame others or events and seek your quick fix pill. I know you don’t want hear this, but there is NO quick fix (not for anything) and YOU are 100% responsible for what shows up in your reality. This is often a hard concept to accept, but it doesn’t make it false! People who tell you otherwise, are just praying on your gullibility and your desire to have the wish fairy wave her wand over your head and fix your problems for you. Yes that does sound wonderful I know! We can all dream, but reality, is reality.
Success, Achievement and therefore coaching is about facing reality and dealing with it. THAT is how you get phenomenal success. There is a formula that all successful people know and understand and all I can tell you is it is not about quick fixes.
So in that vein, here’s the first step to put your focus, time, energy and effort into.
Step 1: First thing is to recognise that you are actually procrastinating :)
It is important to be self aware! I think it’s Dr Phi who says “YOU CANNOT CHANGE WHAT YOU DON’T ACKNOWLEDGE”! As a coach, I know this to be 100% true. I cannot assist any client who refuses to acknowledge their own thinking and behaviours and the impact of those on their lives!
And our whole psyche is designed to filter out stuff that we choose to pretend doesn’t exist. Yes I said pretend! We all pretend stuff is not happening! The majority of the planet are walking around in denial a great deal of the time (way more than you or I could anticipate). This I also know to be true. I know it because of the science but also more powerfully, my own person experience. I have delved deeply within myself for 25 years and I see it in everyone I know and coach (and I know a lot of people)!!!!
So we all have our areas of denial. It’s now time to put a shining light on the things you are pretending NOT to notice! Therefore one of the main keys to success is to get SELF AWARE enough to know when you are doing it! Easier said than done - absolutely!!
Here are some questions to help you identify if you are procrastinating: -
• Is your day filled with unimportant or low priority tasks (think inside and outside of work)?
• Do you leave items/tasks on your To Do list for longer than 2 days?
• Do you have loads of To Do’s (written or in your head)?
• How much of your day is spent reviewing non-priority emails, watching TV, playing games, reading, on facebook (or other social media sites) or other non-productive, but pleasurable activities?
• Do you review emails/reports/voicemails and not doing anything with them straight away?
• Do you read the same thing more than once?
• Do you sit down to start a high-priority task, and almost immediately going off to do something else?
• Do you consider doing a task more than once, but still take no action to start it?
• Do you regularly agree to do unimportant tasks that others ask of you?
• Do you regularly agree to do things that you don’t want to do or don’t need to do?
• Do you find yourself waiting for the “right mood/inspiration/time” to tackle the important task at hand?
• Do you make up excuses and stories to yourself and others about why you haven’t done something or achieved something?
• Do you tell yourself that you perform better under pressure and tight deadlines?
If you have answered YES to any of the above, guess what? Yes, you my friend have been procrastinating. I know it, and more importantly YOU now know it ;)
Now for those people who answered yes to the last one, and are now telling the computer and themselves that that has absolutely nothing to do with procrastination, well think again! Yes it does. And I’m not going to tell you why for a couple of blogs yet! So now you have to keep reading. Oh LOL!
OK, so what I hear you say? So I procrastinate. No biggie! No it’s not, if you have every intention of leading a small, mediocre life! As highlighted in the last blog, procrastinating is our key self defeating behaviour. If you think you only do it occasionally and it has no impact on your life, then I ask you to consider the following questions honestly:
• Have I have achieved absolutely everything that I dreamed of for my life up until now?
• Am I in the top 10% of highly successful, top achievers in my area of expertise?
• Am I constantly achieving stretch goals and moving forward rapidly to greater success?
• Am I achieving what I want in ALL areas of my life?
If you can answer yes to all the above, then well done you! I congratulate you. You are one of few people who have overcome all their fears and have managed to find a truly balanced life!
However, most people cannot say that. Why? I know you have your reasons and excuses. But if you cannot accept that procrastinating is holding you back, then you will be unlikely to achieve the things you want in life (it will remain just dreams).
Just to be ultra clear - If you have consciously de-prioiritised a task for another high priority task and you complete both tasks, that is not procrastination but good time management. But make sure that this is true and genuine! At the end of the day, the only person you fool by not being truthful with yourself, IS yourself.
If you are serious about nailing procrastination, then I have some generic self help to assist you. Here is the first Overcoming Procrastination – template 1.
To give you a deadline (and me) this needs to be completed by 8 August. I am on holiday next week, but I will ensure I meet this commitment for you!
You need to do this exercise with focus and energy. It is often useful to buy a special note book to make your notes in. So take the time out of your day. Sit somewhere inspiring. Get in touch with yourself and ask yourself the questions on the template. Notice what the little voice says. Be honest with yourself. Notice both your logical reaction and the subconscious messages coming through. Read the question and pause. Let things come to you. Pay close attention to the thoughts at the back of your mind! Then read it again and pause. Do it until you could look me in the eye and say I answered this with 100% honesty and conviction. Because if you don’t you are just playing and now you’re using me to help you procrastinate. NOT HAPPY JAN!
But seriously, if procrastination is a strong pattern in your life, coaching is a highly effective method to enable you to move forward. It is my experience, that self help is only of limited value as our psyche’s are clever enough to make us think we are helping ourselves when in fact we are cementing the very thinking, beliefs and behaviours we are trying to overcome! I had this experience many times, and the AHA for me catapulted me into coaching and training. A skilled and experience coach can help you overcome procrastination faster and more effectively than you will ever do it yourself. Why? Because a skilled coach can hear and see what you are pretending not to notice and acts as a sounding board to help you see what is happening in your life.
I’m off to the fabulous Northern Territory for a Thelma & Louise style trip (for those of you old enough to remember the movie) and some inner reflection on the way!
So enjoy spending time with yourself and until next time.....
If you feel you want to accelarate getting this issue sorted out, coaching is the best way to achieve results by addressing your personal issues. Contact us today.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)