TA DA! Yes I can get things done when I want to!! So in the spirit of following my own coaching, here is part 2 of the series on procrastination.
I know you are all dying to know what the QUICK FIX is. Sorry, no can do! Look elsewhere for that answer!
If you have read my blogs, you’ll guess that I’m the kind of coach that deals in reality. I help people become successful, achieve their dreams and create the life they desire, by dealing with their limiting and unhelpful beliefs, perceptions and thinking systems.
I get results for people, because I use what works! I know what drives performance and outcomes and I help others get it. And how you get it, is through putting in time, energy, effort and focus on yourself and what you want. You have to be ready and prepared to work on yourself and take 100% responsibility for your outcomes.
Does that sound harsh or unfair to you? If so, you are likely to be in the 90% of the herd looking to blame others or events and seek your quick fix pill. I know you don’t want hear this, but there is NO quick fix (not for anything) and YOU are 100% responsible for what shows up in your reality. This is often a hard concept to accept, but it doesn’t make it false! People who tell you otherwise, are just praying on your gullibility and your desire to have the wish fairy wave her wand over your head and fix your problems for you. Yes that does sound wonderful I know! We can all dream, but reality, is reality.
Success, Achievement and therefore coaching is about facing reality and dealing with it. THAT is how you get phenomenal success. There is a formula that all successful people know and understand and all I can tell you is it is not about quick fixes.
So in that vein, here’s the first step to put your focus, time, energy and effort into.
Step 1: First thing is to recognise that you are actually procrastinating :)
It is important to be self aware! I think it’s Dr Phi who says “YOU CANNOT CHANGE WHAT YOU DON’T ACKNOWLEDGE”! As a coach, I know this to be 100% true. I cannot assist any client who refuses to acknowledge their own thinking and behaviours and the impact of those on their lives!
And our whole psyche is designed to filter out stuff that we choose to pretend doesn’t exist. Yes I said pretend! We all pretend stuff is not happening! The majority of the planet are walking around in denial a great deal of the time (way more than you or I could anticipate). This I also know to be true. I know it because of the science but also more powerfully, my own person experience. I have delved deeply within myself for 25 years and I see it in everyone I know and coach (and I know a lot of people)!!!!
So we all have our areas of denial. It’s now time to put a shining light on the things you are pretending NOT to notice! Therefore one of the main keys to success is to get SELF AWARE enough to know when you are doing it! Easier said than done - absolutely!!
Here are some questions to help you identify if you are procrastinating: -
• Is your day filled with unimportant or low priority tasks (think inside and outside of work)?
• Do you leave items/tasks on your To Do list for longer than 2 days?
• Do you have loads of To Do’s (written or in your head)?
• How much of your day is spent reviewing non-priority emails, watching TV, playing games, reading, on facebook (or other social media sites) or other non-productive, but pleasurable activities?
• Do you review emails/reports/voicemails and not doing anything with them straight away?
• Do you read the same thing more than once?
• Do you sit down to start a high-priority task, and almost immediately going off to do something else?
• Do you consider doing a task more than once, but still take no action to start it?
• Do you regularly agree to do unimportant tasks that others ask of you?
• Do you regularly agree to do things that you don’t want to do or don’t need to do?
• Do you find yourself waiting for the “right mood/inspiration/time” to tackle the important task at hand?
• Do you make up excuses and stories to yourself and others about why you haven’t done something or achieved something?
• Do you tell yourself that you perform better under pressure and tight deadlines?
If you have answered YES to any of the above, guess what? Yes, you my friend have been procrastinating. I know it, and more importantly YOU now know it ;)
Now for those people who answered yes to the last one, and are now telling the computer and themselves that that has absolutely nothing to do with procrastination, well think again! Yes it does. And I’m not going to tell you why for a couple of blogs yet! So now you have to keep reading. Oh LOL!
OK, so what I hear you say? So I procrastinate. No biggie! No it’s not, if you have every intention of leading a small, mediocre life! As highlighted in the last blog, procrastinating is our key self defeating behaviour. If you think you only do it occasionally and it has no impact on your life, then I ask you to consider the following questions honestly:
• Have I have achieved absolutely everything that I dreamed of for my life up until now?
• Am I in the top 10% of highly successful, top achievers in my area of expertise?
• Am I constantly achieving stretch goals and moving forward rapidly to greater success?
• Am I achieving what I want in ALL areas of my life?
If you can answer yes to all the above, then well done you! I congratulate you. You are one of few people who have overcome all their fears and have managed to find a truly balanced life!
However, most people cannot say that. Why? I know you have your reasons and excuses. But if you cannot accept that procrastinating is holding you back, then you will be unlikely to achieve the things you want in life (it will remain just dreams).
Just to be ultra clear - If you have consciously de-prioiritised a task for another high priority task and you complete both tasks, that is not procrastination but good time management. But make sure that this is true and genuine! At the end of the day, the only person you fool by not being truthful with yourself, IS yourself.
If you are serious about nailing procrastination, then I have some generic self help to assist you. Here is the first Overcoming Procrastination – template 1.
To give you a deadline (and me) this needs to be completed by 8 August. I am on holiday next week, but I will ensure I meet this commitment for you!
You need to do this exercise with focus and energy. It is often useful to buy a special note book to make your notes in. So take the time out of your day. Sit somewhere inspiring. Get in touch with yourself and ask yourself the questions on the template. Notice what the little voice says. Be honest with yourself. Notice both your logical reaction and the subconscious messages coming through. Read the question and pause. Let things come to you. Pay close attention to the thoughts at the back of your mind! Then read it again and pause. Do it until you could look me in the eye and say I answered this with 100% honesty and conviction. Because if you don’t you are just playing and now you’re using me to help you procrastinate. NOT HAPPY JAN!
But seriously, if procrastination is a strong pattern in your life, coaching is a highly effective method to enable you to move forward. It is my experience, that self help is only of limited value as our psyche’s are clever enough to make us think we are helping ourselves when in fact we are cementing the very thinking, beliefs and behaviours we are trying to overcome! I had this experience many times, and the AHA for me catapulted me into coaching and training. A skilled and experience coach can help you overcome procrastination faster and more effectively than you will ever do it yourself. Why? Because a skilled coach can hear and see what you are pretending not to notice and acts as a sounding board to help you see what is happening in your life.
I’m off to the fabulous Northern Territory for a Thelma & Louise style trip (for those of you old enough to remember the movie) and some inner reflection on the way!
So enjoy spending time with yourself and until next time.....
If you feel you want to accelarate getting this issue sorted out, coaching is the best way to achieve results by addressing your personal issues. Contact us today.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
WHO'S PROCRASINATING - NOT ME, THEN WHO???
Hey folks,
Welcome to my next blog. It seemed to me that I was procrastinating about doing these blogs and then I thought well since I am coaching myself, I might as well share the insights with you all. Because lets face it, if you think you have NEVER procrastinated, then I'd suggest you are seriously delusional ;)
We have all done it (whether we care to be honest with ourselves or not)!
But the REAL question is, is this a bad habit that is getting in the way for your success???
Research shows approximately 20% of the population consider themselves chronic procrastinators. Whenever I coach clients, 100% of those clients have been procrasinating about their goals or actions. So I would suggest the general public may not be as honest as they could be with themselves!
So what exactly is procrastination? The most helpful definition I can come up with is - a conscious decision/choice to put tasks off to the last possible minute (or not at all) for NO valid reason!
We procrastinate when we put things off that we think we should be focusing on right now, usually in favour of doing something that is more enjoyable and LESS important or that we’re more comfortable doing.
We have all INTENDED to do something and either put it off or not done it at all. Procrastinating is one of the most common negative self-defeating behaviours us humans have. And it is so acceptable in society that it seems to be a behaviour that most of us generally accept in ourselves and others! Furthermore, we talk about it as though it is perfectly natural!!! No wonder only 10% of people achieve true success! When 90% of the herd are happy to reinforce negative behaviours in each other. Think about it!
In any case, continuous patterns of procrastination can be a significant issue for individuals, keeping them trapped in a negative psychological cycle for months, years and I’ve known people to do it for decades!
Procrastination can be on minor things, but more often than not it is the big ticket items which can adversely affect your career and your personal life. It is worth remembering that procrastinating is NOT laziness! Laziness is you can't be bothered. Procrastinating is thinking about doing the task or actually starting to do the task and then choosing not to do it or complete it in favour of something else!
It is also worth remembering that procrastination IS NOT one of the key traits of highly successful people.
Procrastination is a self defeating behaviour, plain and simple! It is more often driven from negative self beliefs and/or trying to act outside of your true values.
Procrastinating creates a pattern of negative side effects such as frenziness, last minute dashes, adrenaline rushes, extra/late hours, stress, whingeing, beating ourselves up, feeling overwhelm, resentful and most commonly guilt. Many of us have unconscious belief systems that need to feel these negative emotions to prove a point to ourselves.
Guilt is the key outcome of procrastinating. Because the feeling of guilt can be quite painful to most of us, we do all in our power to pretend that we are not experiencing it. The best way to do that is to justify our behaviour to ourselves and others by making up excuses (whether they appear legitimate or not). Even if our excuses are based on some element of truth! Making up excuses makes us feel justified, therefore we feel better and therefore in the moment we pretend that we aren't guilty! YAY! PHEW!
But then sometime later we do feel guilty about it. And so we remind ourselves of our excuses to justify ourselves. And the cycle continues over and over again. Do you ever feel like one of them little mice on a running wheel?
So why do we do procrastinate? Sometimes because the things we are procrastinating about are things of little value to us, but big to someone else. Let’s face it, if you REALLY wanted it, you’d overcome your FEAR and just do it!
Sometimes we like to torture ourselves by fantasising about dreams that we would like, but don’t have the courage nor the true intention to do WHATEVER it takes to go after the dream and therefore we let FEAR overtake us! We then end up procrastinating and telling ourselves and others all sorts of stories and excuses to help us feel not too bad about it all!
Procrastination can be triggered for all sorts of reasons. Procrastinating habits and triggers are personal to you! So trying to do blanket tips is not going to work for you for serious procrastination issues or the long term. If procrastination is a real issue for you, coaching may have phenomenal impact on your life.
However, I will provide some generic tips on the next few blogs to help you on your short term quest.
The 7 steps to overcoming procrastination are below. I will discuss these in the next three blogs.
Step 1: Recognise that you're procrastinating
Step 2: Uncover what you are getting out of procrastinating
Step 3: Get clear on your TRUE values
Step 4: Develop a compelling vision and goals
Step 5: Understand the cycle of procrastination
Step 6: Recognise the reasons you CHOOSE to procrastinate
Step 7: Take action to overcome your self-defeating beliefs and behaviours
Stay tuned in a couple of days for Step 1. And trust me, because this is public, I have a huge incentive to deliver and not procrastinate :)
REMEMBER MY MANTRA - Life is not about NOT about finding yourself, it's about CREATING yourself :)
Welcome to my next blog. It seemed to me that I was procrastinating about doing these blogs and then I thought well since I am coaching myself, I might as well share the insights with you all. Because lets face it, if you think you have NEVER procrastinated, then I'd suggest you are seriously delusional ;)
We have all done it (whether we care to be honest with ourselves or not)!
But the REAL question is, is this a bad habit that is getting in the way for your success???
Research shows approximately 20% of the population consider themselves chronic procrastinators. Whenever I coach clients, 100% of those clients have been procrasinating about their goals or actions. So I would suggest the general public may not be as honest as they could be with themselves!
So what exactly is procrastination? The most helpful definition I can come up with is - a conscious decision/choice to put tasks off to the last possible minute (or not at all) for NO valid reason!
We procrastinate when we put things off that we think we should be focusing on right now, usually in favour of doing something that is more enjoyable and LESS important or that we’re more comfortable doing.
We have all INTENDED to do something and either put it off or not done it at all. Procrastinating is one of the most common negative self-defeating behaviours us humans have. And it is so acceptable in society that it seems to be a behaviour that most of us generally accept in ourselves and others! Furthermore, we talk about it as though it is perfectly natural!!! No wonder only 10% of people achieve true success! When 90% of the herd are happy to reinforce negative behaviours in each other. Think about it!
In any case, continuous patterns of procrastination can be a significant issue for individuals, keeping them trapped in a negative psychological cycle for months, years and I’ve known people to do it for decades!
Procrastination can be on minor things, but more often than not it is the big ticket items which can adversely affect your career and your personal life. It is worth remembering that procrastinating is NOT laziness! Laziness is you can't be bothered. Procrastinating is thinking about doing the task or actually starting to do the task and then choosing not to do it or complete it in favour of something else!
It is also worth remembering that procrastination IS NOT one of the key traits of highly successful people.
Procrastination is a self defeating behaviour, plain and simple! It is more often driven from negative self beliefs and/or trying to act outside of your true values.
Procrastinating creates a pattern of negative side effects such as frenziness, last minute dashes, adrenaline rushes, extra/late hours, stress, whingeing, beating ourselves up, feeling overwhelm, resentful and most commonly guilt. Many of us have unconscious belief systems that need to feel these negative emotions to prove a point to ourselves.
Guilt is the key outcome of procrastinating. Because the feeling of guilt can be quite painful to most of us, we do all in our power to pretend that we are not experiencing it. The best way to do that is to justify our behaviour to ourselves and others by making up excuses (whether they appear legitimate or not). Even if our excuses are based on some element of truth! Making up excuses makes us feel justified, therefore we feel better and therefore in the moment we pretend that we aren't guilty! YAY! PHEW!
But then sometime later we do feel guilty about it. And so we remind ourselves of our excuses to justify ourselves. And the cycle continues over and over again. Do you ever feel like one of them little mice on a running wheel?
So why do we do procrastinate? Sometimes because the things we are procrastinating about are things of little value to us, but big to someone else. Let’s face it, if you REALLY wanted it, you’d overcome your FEAR and just do it!
Sometimes we like to torture ourselves by fantasising about dreams that we would like, but don’t have the courage nor the true intention to do WHATEVER it takes to go after the dream and therefore we let FEAR overtake us! We then end up procrastinating and telling ourselves and others all sorts of stories and excuses to help us feel not too bad about it all!
Procrastination can be triggered for all sorts of reasons. Procrastinating habits and triggers are personal to you! So trying to do blanket tips is not going to work for you for serious procrastination issues or the long term. If procrastination is a real issue for you, coaching may have phenomenal impact on your life.
However, I will provide some generic tips on the next few blogs to help you on your short term quest.
The 7 steps to overcoming procrastination are below. I will discuss these in the next three blogs.
Step 1: Recognise that you're procrastinating
Step 2: Uncover what you are getting out of procrastinating
Step 3: Get clear on your TRUE values
Step 4: Develop a compelling vision and goals
Step 5: Understand the cycle of procrastination
Step 6: Recognise the reasons you CHOOSE to procrastinate
Step 7: Take action to overcome your self-defeating beliefs and behaviours
Stay tuned in a couple of days for Step 1. And trust me, because this is public, I have a huge incentive to deliver and not procrastinate :)
REMEMBER MY MANTRA - Life is not about NOT about finding yourself, it's about CREATING yourself :)
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