Ok, so by now you are getting insights into what is REALLY driving your procrastination. The biggest thing to know is what is your highest level fear driver? Which one is driving your behaviour? If this is the first time you are reading this blog, please review the previous three entries first.
The real reason you are procrastinating relates to one of the those fears (or something similar in your construct of the world). In CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Technique), the premise is that people procrastinate or do other unhelpful behaviours because they have unhelpful rules and assumptions, related to fears.
Another way to think about motivation of your behaviour is known as “Towards or Away from Motivation”. In my experience understanding this model is key to helping you overcome your issue! In a nutshell, all humans have a preference for pleasure (happiness, good things etc) and we dislike pain (emotional or physical pain, bad things).
Therefore, our behaviour is motivated TOWARDS PLEASURE and AWAY FROM PAIN. Most of us fool ourselves into thinking that we are being motivated toward our goals, however, if you are putting up barriers to achievement (such as procrastination) then you are actually being motivated from AWAY from motivation!
The best way to know what your motivation is for sure is to look at your actual behaviour whilst trying to achieve your goal. If your behaviour/motivation is patchy (up and down) and you are having to push yourself and exert lots of effort, and then procrastinating then you are actually fighting yourself unconsciously. When people are NOT moving CONSISTENTLY towards achieving their goals, their motivation is actually coming from fear (or away from motivation).
Therefore recognising and releasing your fear is the best way to overcome your procrastination. A good coach can take you through a number of processes to release fears. NLP and CBT techniques are highly effective in achieving this. In order to move forward you need to identify what is really holding you back and then disputing the truth of that unhelpful belief or assumption. You can get started by using our Overcoming Procrastination template.
Step 3: Get clear on your TRUE values
Sometimes part of the reason that you are procrastinating is because you are not acting in line with your true values. So getting clear on your real values is important. As this process in in-depth I cannot go into it this on a blog, however, you need to know that your true values are about valuing things you already do and have.
Too many people confuse their expectations or goals with their values! E.g. I value wealth creation, yet I live week to week – i.e. your reality is week by week living (current behaviour) and you desire wealth (your goal)
If you are operating outside of your real values the biggest clue is that if something takes too much effort then there is a very strong chance that you are telling yourself you value it, because “you should”! Whenever we tell ourselves we ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ being doing something, we are normally out of alignment with our values and in alignment with other people’s expectations of us (real or imagined)! Assess whether it really is congruent with your TRUE values.
Identifying your real values is in-depth and an experienced coach can help you tap into this. Please be aware of ‘free’ value assessment tools. These tools generally only feed your delusions about your values, and do not help you identify your real, true values! My Performance Coaches works with the powerful tools that help you identify your true values.
Step 4: Develop a compelling vision and goals
Develop a compelling long term vision (10-15 years) and clear, realistic and goals. Write it down in detail. If you have already done this and NOT moving forwards, the chances are, you don’t believe it to be true or you have created goals and visions that are unrealistic or not congruent with your values. Again a professional coach can assist you do this at both a conscious and unconscious level to deeply embed these into your psyche.
Step 5: Understanding the Cycle of Procrastination
So we now have all the information you need to change your behaviour. Before I give you tips in the next blog to help you overcome your procrastination, let’s look at the procrastination cycle.
Stage one of the cycle is that you contemplate doing the task/goal. This triggers stage two (which you now should be consciously aware of) which is the unhelpful beliefs, assumptions, fears and conclusions. Then if these unhelpful beliefs are undisputed, discomfort avoidance techniques kick in (e.g. you first start to justify why you can’t do the task and then take alternative or no action). This then enables stage four which normally creates dual pay-offs for you. This continues until the next time you contemplate the task/goal and around you go again.
Hopefully by now you are really starting to understand the true nature of procrastination. The next blog will be the last in the series and will help you with tips to overcome these unhelpful behaviours.
My Performance Coach specialises in Career Coaching for professionals. We help you get unstuck, positively motivated and inspired to create the career of your dreams! Our aim is to empower and enable each and every client to develop a compelling vision, inspiring goals and to achieve the success they wish to create in their lives. Our qualified coaches do this through a structured and professional process combining profiling tools, supportive environment, a variety of different coaching methodologies, and sophisticated one-on-one training to expand and inspire growth and learning for our clients.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Procrastination - Part Three....
So did you meet the August 8 deadline? Apologies for my lateness! With all good intentions, I failed to take into account that some parts of OZ have no mobile or internet coverage! I guess better late than never! So onto Step 2.
Step 2: Uncover what you are getting out of procrastinating?
So what did the previous exercise tell you? What insights did you get I wonder?
Now it’s time to understand what you are actually getting out of procrastination! This takes some in-depth exploration. You may find it useful to discuss your answers with someone who knows you well and has had the opportunity to observe your behaviour consistently for at least six months. Otherwise, a good coach will speed this process up and help you get these answers quickly and efficiently. A good coach nails this stuff with you in a few sessions if you really want to overcome it!
What pay-offs are you getting? You really need to understand these. The obvious ones are what positives you get out of procrastinating, and more importantly what you get to avoid doing!
More often than not though, the REAL pay-off is an unconscious motivator. By virtue of it being ‘unconscious’ you are unlikely to be able to point to the answer quickly. A pay-off is generally associated with a negative driver (significant negative subconscious self belief). This subject is too sensitive and involved to discuss in a blog. However some of the more obvious and more common ones are “I’m not good enough”, “I/things must be perfect”, “I’m not strong enough”, I can’t cope”, “I can’t do anything right” etc.....
Be careful not to just accept what comes to you first up. This is just your psyche dishing up the same old same old. The real insight is harder to grasp! This is where a skilled and experienced coach can help you nail the REAL reason for your behaviour.
For instance, you may perceive that the pay off you get by not doing your admin tasks every week in your small business, is that you get to AVOID BORING TASKS and you have WAY more important tasks to do. But actually the real meaning you are attaching to it, when you really drill down is that you are fearful that your profit is not on target. So whilst our logical mind knows you may have a financial issue, thinking that its probable and knowing for a fact are two different things!! Because the latter actually means you will need to do something about it if you do not wish to make the situation worse, procrastination is helping you put off the pain of knowing! So the real reason is your fear of serious financial loss!
I know most people dislike the idea that their behaviour is often motivated by fear, and many out-rightly reject it (which is just a resistance mechanism) but most of our behaviour, particularly behaviour that is a disservice to us is motivated by fear!!
Without going into a great deal of explanation about it, there are 7 main fears that drive most of our behaviour. If you keep drilling down and asking yourself honestly what you fear, your answer will be based on one of the following:-
1. Fear of breaking away from a value system held by society (e.g. law, church, professional)
2. Fear of poor mental capability (e.g. not smart enough, not educated enough)
3. Fear of failure/success (coming up short, not good enough)
4. Fear of financial loss (e.g. bankruptcy, not enough money)
5. Fear of losing loved ones (e.g. death, disownment, leaving you)
6. Fear of societal rejection (not fitting in, not being liked)
7. Fear of poor physical capability (e.g. not strong enough, not tall enough)
Now it may seem to you that fear driving your behaviour doesn't make sense, since procrastination is just putting off the inevitable. Well you'd be right! It doesn't to your logical mind!!! But your psyche (sub conscious mind) is trying to protect you from having to face the pain of your fear, so procrastination is the key strategy of avoidance it uses to achieve that goal.
However procrastination can be a highly effective strategy. Many people delay pursuing their dreams and allowing their fears to run their whole life without ever acknowledging they lived out a fear based protection mechanism. Think about those people you've heard say, I would have, could have, should have done x, y, or z - yes, they are living examples of this process in practice.
So the REAL question is, do you really want to be doing the woulda, shoulda, coulda gig for the next 10, 20, 30 - 70 years or do you want to live your life and achieve your dreams???
If you are about the latter, then you really need to work out what is really driving your procrastination? Get to the answer and release yourself from this current level of procrastination!
More explanation on this next week. Until then....
Get Cracking ;)
Step 2: Uncover what you are getting out of procrastinating?
So what did the previous exercise tell you? What insights did you get I wonder?
Now it’s time to understand what you are actually getting out of procrastination! This takes some in-depth exploration. You may find it useful to discuss your answers with someone who knows you well and has had the opportunity to observe your behaviour consistently for at least six months. Otherwise, a good coach will speed this process up and help you get these answers quickly and efficiently. A good coach nails this stuff with you in a few sessions if you really want to overcome it!
What pay-offs are you getting? You really need to understand these. The obvious ones are what positives you get out of procrastinating, and more importantly what you get to avoid doing!
More often than not though, the REAL pay-off is an unconscious motivator. By virtue of it being ‘unconscious’ you are unlikely to be able to point to the answer quickly. A pay-off is generally associated with a negative driver (significant negative subconscious self belief). This subject is too sensitive and involved to discuss in a blog. However some of the more obvious and more common ones are “I’m not good enough”, “I/things must be perfect”, “I’m not strong enough”, I can’t cope”, “I can’t do anything right” etc.....
Be careful not to just accept what comes to you first up. This is just your psyche dishing up the same old same old. The real insight is harder to grasp! This is where a skilled and experienced coach can help you nail the REAL reason for your behaviour.
For instance, you may perceive that the pay off you get by not doing your admin tasks every week in your small business, is that you get to AVOID BORING TASKS and you have WAY more important tasks to do. But actually the real meaning you are attaching to it, when you really drill down is that you are fearful that your profit is not on target. So whilst our logical mind knows you may have a financial issue, thinking that its probable and knowing for a fact are two different things!! Because the latter actually means you will need to do something about it if you do not wish to make the situation worse, procrastination is helping you put off the pain of knowing! So the real reason is your fear of serious financial loss!
I know most people dislike the idea that their behaviour is often motivated by fear, and many out-rightly reject it (which is just a resistance mechanism) but most of our behaviour, particularly behaviour that is a disservice to us is motivated by fear!!
Without going into a great deal of explanation about it, there are 7 main fears that drive most of our behaviour. If you keep drilling down and asking yourself honestly what you fear, your answer will be based on one of the following:-
1. Fear of breaking away from a value system held by society (e.g. law, church, professional)
2. Fear of poor mental capability (e.g. not smart enough, not educated enough)
3. Fear of failure/success (coming up short, not good enough)
4. Fear of financial loss (e.g. bankruptcy, not enough money)
5. Fear of losing loved ones (e.g. death, disownment, leaving you)
6. Fear of societal rejection (not fitting in, not being liked)
7. Fear of poor physical capability (e.g. not strong enough, not tall enough)
Now it may seem to you that fear driving your behaviour doesn't make sense, since procrastination is just putting off the inevitable. Well you'd be right! It doesn't to your logical mind!!! But your psyche (sub conscious mind) is trying to protect you from having to face the pain of your fear, so procrastination is the key strategy of avoidance it uses to achieve that goal.
However procrastination can be a highly effective strategy. Many people delay pursuing their dreams and allowing their fears to run their whole life without ever acknowledging they lived out a fear based protection mechanism. Think about those people you've heard say, I would have, could have, should have done x, y, or z - yes, they are living examples of this process in practice.
So the REAL question is, do you really want to be doing the woulda, shoulda, coulda gig for the next 10, 20, 30 - 70 years or do you want to live your life and achieve your dreams???
If you are about the latter, then you really need to work out what is really driving your procrastination? Get to the answer and release yourself from this current level of procrastination!
More explanation on this next week. Until then....
Get Cracking ;)
Monday, July 26, 2010
Procrastination - Part Two....
TA DA! Yes I can get things done when I want to!! So in the spirit of following my own coaching, here is part 2 of the series on procrastination.
I know you are all dying to know what the QUICK FIX is. Sorry, no can do! Look elsewhere for that answer!
If you have read my blogs, you’ll guess that I’m the kind of coach that deals in reality. I help people become successful, achieve their dreams and create the life they desire, by dealing with their limiting and unhelpful beliefs, perceptions and thinking systems.
I get results for people, because I use what works! I know what drives performance and outcomes and I help others get it. And how you get it, is through putting in time, energy, effort and focus on yourself and what you want. You have to be ready and prepared to work on yourself and take 100% responsibility for your outcomes.
Does that sound harsh or unfair to you? If so, you are likely to be in the 90% of the herd looking to blame others or events and seek your quick fix pill. I know you don’t want hear this, but there is NO quick fix (not for anything) and YOU are 100% responsible for what shows up in your reality. This is often a hard concept to accept, but it doesn’t make it false! People who tell you otherwise, are just praying on your gullibility and your desire to have the wish fairy wave her wand over your head and fix your problems for you. Yes that does sound wonderful I know! We can all dream, but reality, is reality.
Success, Achievement and therefore coaching is about facing reality and dealing with it. THAT is how you get phenomenal success. There is a formula that all successful people know and understand and all I can tell you is it is not about quick fixes.
So in that vein, here’s the first step to put your focus, time, energy and effort into.
Step 1: First thing is to recognise that you are actually procrastinating :)
It is important to be self aware! I think it’s Dr Phi who says “YOU CANNOT CHANGE WHAT YOU DON’T ACKNOWLEDGE”! As a coach, I know this to be 100% true. I cannot assist any client who refuses to acknowledge their own thinking and behaviours and the impact of those on their lives!
And our whole psyche is designed to filter out stuff that we choose to pretend doesn’t exist. Yes I said pretend! We all pretend stuff is not happening! The majority of the planet are walking around in denial a great deal of the time (way more than you or I could anticipate). This I also know to be true. I know it because of the science but also more powerfully, my own person experience. I have delved deeply within myself for 25 years and I see it in everyone I know and coach (and I know a lot of people)!!!!
So we all have our areas of denial. It’s now time to put a shining light on the things you are pretending NOT to notice! Therefore one of the main keys to success is to get SELF AWARE enough to know when you are doing it! Easier said than done - absolutely!!
Here are some questions to help you identify if you are procrastinating: -
• Is your day filled with unimportant or low priority tasks (think inside and outside of work)?
• Do you leave items/tasks on your To Do list for longer than 2 days?
• Do you have loads of To Do’s (written or in your head)?
• How much of your day is spent reviewing non-priority emails, watching TV, playing games, reading, on facebook (or other social media sites) or other non-productive, but pleasurable activities?
• Do you review emails/reports/voicemails and not doing anything with them straight away?
• Do you read the same thing more than once?
• Do you sit down to start a high-priority task, and almost immediately going off to do something else?
• Do you consider doing a task more than once, but still take no action to start it?
• Do you regularly agree to do unimportant tasks that others ask of you?
• Do you regularly agree to do things that you don’t want to do or don’t need to do?
• Do you find yourself waiting for the “right mood/inspiration/time” to tackle the important task at hand?
• Do you make up excuses and stories to yourself and others about why you haven’t done something or achieved something?
• Do you tell yourself that you perform better under pressure and tight deadlines?
If you have answered YES to any of the above, guess what? Yes, you my friend have been procrastinating. I know it, and more importantly YOU now know it ;)
Now for those people who answered yes to the last one, and are now telling the computer and themselves that that has absolutely nothing to do with procrastination, well think again! Yes it does. And I’m not going to tell you why for a couple of blogs yet! So now you have to keep reading. Oh LOL!
OK, so what I hear you say? So I procrastinate. No biggie! No it’s not, if you have every intention of leading a small, mediocre life! As highlighted in the last blog, procrastinating is our key self defeating behaviour. If you think you only do it occasionally and it has no impact on your life, then I ask you to consider the following questions honestly:
• Have I have achieved absolutely everything that I dreamed of for my life up until now?
• Am I in the top 10% of highly successful, top achievers in my area of expertise?
• Am I constantly achieving stretch goals and moving forward rapidly to greater success?
• Am I achieving what I want in ALL areas of my life?
If you can answer yes to all the above, then well done you! I congratulate you. You are one of few people who have overcome all their fears and have managed to find a truly balanced life!
However, most people cannot say that. Why? I know you have your reasons and excuses. But if you cannot accept that procrastinating is holding you back, then you will be unlikely to achieve the things you want in life (it will remain just dreams).
Just to be ultra clear - If you have consciously de-prioiritised a task for another high priority task and you complete both tasks, that is not procrastination but good time management. But make sure that this is true and genuine! At the end of the day, the only person you fool by not being truthful with yourself, IS yourself.
If you are serious about nailing procrastination, then I have some generic self help to assist you. Here is the first Overcoming Procrastination – template 1.
To give you a deadline (and me) this needs to be completed by 8 August. I am on holiday next week, but I will ensure I meet this commitment for you!
You need to do this exercise with focus and energy. It is often useful to buy a special note book to make your notes in. So take the time out of your day. Sit somewhere inspiring. Get in touch with yourself and ask yourself the questions on the template. Notice what the little voice says. Be honest with yourself. Notice both your logical reaction and the subconscious messages coming through. Read the question and pause. Let things come to you. Pay close attention to the thoughts at the back of your mind! Then read it again and pause. Do it until you could look me in the eye and say I answered this with 100% honesty and conviction. Because if you don’t you are just playing and now you’re using me to help you procrastinate. NOT HAPPY JAN!
But seriously, if procrastination is a strong pattern in your life, coaching is a highly effective method to enable you to move forward. It is my experience, that self help is only of limited value as our psyche’s are clever enough to make us think we are helping ourselves when in fact we are cementing the very thinking, beliefs and behaviours we are trying to overcome! I had this experience many times, and the AHA for me catapulted me into coaching and training. A skilled and experience coach can help you overcome procrastination faster and more effectively than you will ever do it yourself. Why? Because a skilled coach can hear and see what you are pretending not to notice and acts as a sounding board to help you see what is happening in your life.
I’m off to the fabulous Northern Territory for a Thelma & Louise style trip (for those of you old enough to remember the movie) and some inner reflection on the way!
So enjoy spending time with yourself and until next time.....
If you feel you want to accelarate getting this issue sorted out, coaching is the best way to achieve results by addressing your personal issues. Contact us today.
I know you are all dying to know what the QUICK FIX is. Sorry, no can do! Look elsewhere for that answer!
If you have read my blogs, you’ll guess that I’m the kind of coach that deals in reality. I help people become successful, achieve their dreams and create the life they desire, by dealing with their limiting and unhelpful beliefs, perceptions and thinking systems.
I get results for people, because I use what works! I know what drives performance and outcomes and I help others get it. And how you get it, is through putting in time, energy, effort and focus on yourself and what you want. You have to be ready and prepared to work on yourself and take 100% responsibility for your outcomes.
Does that sound harsh or unfair to you? If so, you are likely to be in the 90% of the herd looking to blame others or events and seek your quick fix pill. I know you don’t want hear this, but there is NO quick fix (not for anything) and YOU are 100% responsible for what shows up in your reality. This is often a hard concept to accept, but it doesn’t make it false! People who tell you otherwise, are just praying on your gullibility and your desire to have the wish fairy wave her wand over your head and fix your problems for you. Yes that does sound wonderful I know! We can all dream, but reality, is reality.
Success, Achievement and therefore coaching is about facing reality and dealing with it. THAT is how you get phenomenal success. There is a formula that all successful people know and understand and all I can tell you is it is not about quick fixes.
So in that vein, here’s the first step to put your focus, time, energy and effort into.
Step 1: First thing is to recognise that you are actually procrastinating :)
It is important to be self aware! I think it’s Dr Phi who says “YOU CANNOT CHANGE WHAT YOU DON’T ACKNOWLEDGE”! As a coach, I know this to be 100% true. I cannot assist any client who refuses to acknowledge their own thinking and behaviours and the impact of those on their lives!
And our whole psyche is designed to filter out stuff that we choose to pretend doesn’t exist. Yes I said pretend! We all pretend stuff is not happening! The majority of the planet are walking around in denial a great deal of the time (way more than you or I could anticipate). This I also know to be true. I know it because of the science but also more powerfully, my own person experience. I have delved deeply within myself for 25 years and I see it in everyone I know and coach (and I know a lot of people)!!!!
So we all have our areas of denial. It’s now time to put a shining light on the things you are pretending NOT to notice! Therefore one of the main keys to success is to get SELF AWARE enough to know when you are doing it! Easier said than done - absolutely!!
Here are some questions to help you identify if you are procrastinating: -
• Is your day filled with unimportant or low priority tasks (think inside and outside of work)?
• Do you leave items/tasks on your To Do list for longer than 2 days?
• Do you have loads of To Do’s (written or in your head)?
• How much of your day is spent reviewing non-priority emails, watching TV, playing games, reading, on facebook (or other social media sites) or other non-productive, but pleasurable activities?
• Do you review emails/reports/voicemails and not doing anything with them straight away?
• Do you read the same thing more than once?
• Do you sit down to start a high-priority task, and almost immediately going off to do something else?
• Do you consider doing a task more than once, but still take no action to start it?
• Do you regularly agree to do unimportant tasks that others ask of you?
• Do you regularly agree to do things that you don’t want to do or don’t need to do?
• Do you find yourself waiting for the “right mood/inspiration/time” to tackle the important task at hand?
• Do you make up excuses and stories to yourself and others about why you haven’t done something or achieved something?
• Do you tell yourself that you perform better under pressure and tight deadlines?
If you have answered YES to any of the above, guess what? Yes, you my friend have been procrastinating. I know it, and more importantly YOU now know it ;)
Now for those people who answered yes to the last one, and are now telling the computer and themselves that that has absolutely nothing to do with procrastination, well think again! Yes it does. And I’m not going to tell you why for a couple of blogs yet! So now you have to keep reading. Oh LOL!
OK, so what I hear you say? So I procrastinate. No biggie! No it’s not, if you have every intention of leading a small, mediocre life! As highlighted in the last blog, procrastinating is our key self defeating behaviour. If you think you only do it occasionally and it has no impact on your life, then I ask you to consider the following questions honestly:
• Have I have achieved absolutely everything that I dreamed of for my life up until now?
• Am I in the top 10% of highly successful, top achievers in my area of expertise?
• Am I constantly achieving stretch goals and moving forward rapidly to greater success?
• Am I achieving what I want in ALL areas of my life?
If you can answer yes to all the above, then well done you! I congratulate you. You are one of few people who have overcome all their fears and have managed to find a truly balanced life!
However, most people cannot say that. Why? I know you have your reasons and excuses. But if you cannot accept that procrastinating is holding you back, then you will be unlikely to achieve the things you want in life (it will remain just dreams).
Just to be ultra clear - If you have consciously de-prioiritised a task for another high priority task and you complete both tasks, that is not procrastination but good time management. But make sure that this is true and genuine! At the end of the day, the only person you fool by not being truthful with yourself, IS yourself.
If you are serious about nailing procrastination, then I have some generic self help to assist you. Here is the first Overcoming Procrastination – template 1.
To give you a deadline (and me) this needs to be completed by 8 August. I am on holiday next week, but I will ensure I meet this commitment for you!
You need to do this exercise with focus and energy. It is often useful to buy a special note book to make your notes in. So take the time out of your day. Sit somewhere inspiring. Get in touch with yourself and ask yourself the questions on the template. Notice what the little voice says. Be honest with yourself. Notice both your logical reaction and the subconscious messages coming through. Read the question and pause. Let things come to you. Pay close attention to the thoughts at the back of your mind! Then read it again and pause. Do it until you could look me in the eye and say I answered this with 100% honesty and conviction. Because if you don’t you are just playing and now you’re using me to help you procrastinate. NOT HAPPY JAN!
But seriously, if procrastination is a strong pattern in your life, coaching is a highly effective method to enable you to move forward. It is my experience, that self help is only of limited value as our psyche’s are clever enough to make us think we are helping ourselves when in fact we are cementing the very thinking, beliefs and behaviours we are trying to overcome! I had this experience many times, and the AHA for me catapulted me into coaching and training. A skilled and experience coach can help you overcome procrastination faster and more effectively than you will ever do it yourself. Why? Because a skilled coach can hear and see what you are pretending not to notice and acts as a sounding board to help you see what is happening in your life.
I’m off to the fabulous Northern Territory for a Thelma & Louise style trip (for those of you old enough to remember the movie) and some inner reflection on the way!
So enjoy spending time with yourself and until next time.....
If you feel you want to accelarate getting this issue sorted out, coaching is the best way to achieve results by addressing your personal issues. Contact us today.
Friday, July 16, 2010
WHO'S PROCRASINATING - NOT ME, THEN WHO???
Hey folks,
Welcome to my next blog. It seemed to me that I was procrastinating about doing these blogs and then I thought well since I am coaching myself, I might as well share the insights with you all. Because lets face it, if you think you have NEVER procrastinated, then I'd suggest you are seriously delusional ;)
We have all done it (whether we care to be honest with ourselves or not)!
But the REAL question is, is this a bad habit that is getting in the way for your success???
Research shows approximately 20% of the population consider themselves chronic procrastinators. Whenever I coach clients, 100% of those clients have been procrasinating about their goals or actions. So I would suggest the general public may not be as honest as they could be with themselves!
So what exactly is procrastination? The most helpful definition I can come up with is - a conscious decision/choice to put tasks off to the last possible minute (or not at all) for NO valid reason!
We procrastinate when we put things off that we think we should be focusing on right now, usually in favour of doing something that is more enjoyable and LESS important or that we’re more comfortable doing.
We have all INTENDED to do something and either put it off or not done it at all. Procrastinating is one of the most common negative self-defeating behaviours us humans have. And it is so acceptable in society that it seems to be a behaviour that most of us generally accept in ourselves and others! Furthermore, we talk about it as though it is perfectly natural!!! No wonder only 10% of people achieve true success! When 90% of the herd are happy to reinforce negative behaviours in each other. Think about it!
In any case, continuous patterns of procrastination can be a significant issue for individuals, keeping them trapped in a negative psychological cycle for months, years and I’ve known people to do it for decades!
Procrastination can be on minor things, but more often than not it is the big ticket items which can adversely affect your career and your personal life. It is worth remembering that procrastinating is NOT laziness! Laziness is you can't be bothered. Procrastinating is thinking about doing the task or actually starting to do the task and then choosing not to do it or complete it in favour of something else!
It is also worth remembering that procrastination IS NOT one of the key traits of highly successful people.
Procrastination is a self defeating behaviour, plain and simple! It is more often driven from negative self beliefs and/or trying to act outside of your true values.
Procrastinating creates a pattern of negative side effects such as frenziness, last minute dashes, adrenaline rushes, extra/late hours, stress, whingeing, beating ourselves up, feeling overwhelm, resentful and most commonly guilt. Many of us have unconscious belief systems that need to feel these negative emotions to prove a point to ourselves.
Guilt is the key outcome of procrastinating. Because the feeling of guilt can be quite painful to most of us, we do all in our power to pretend that we are not experiencing it. The best way to do that is to justify our behaviour to ourselves and others by making up excuses (whether they appear legitimate or not). Even if our excuses are based on some element of truth! Making up excuses makes us feel justified, therefore we feel better and therefore in the moment we pretend that we aren't guilty! YAY! PHEW!
But then sometime later we do feel guilty about it. And so we remind ourselves of our excuses to justify ourselves. And the cycle continues over and over again. Do you ever feel like one of them little mice on a running wheel?
So why do we do procrastinate? Sometimes because the things we are procrastinating about are things of little value to us, but big to someone else. Let’s face it, if you REALLY wanted it, you’d overcome your FEAR and just do it!
Sometimes we like to torture ourselves by fantasising about dreams that we would like, but don’t have the courage nor the true intention to do WHATEVER it takes to go after the dream and therefore we let FEAR overtake us! We then end up procrastinating and telling ourselves and others all sorts of stories and excuses to help us feel not too bad about it all!
Procrastination can be triggered for all sorts of reasons. Procrastinating habits and triggers are personal to you! So trying to do blanket tips is not going to work for you for serious procrastination issues or the long term. If procrastination is a real issue for you, coaching may have phenomenal impact on your life.
However, I will provide some generic tips on the next few blogs to help you on your short term quest.
The 7 steps to overcoming procrastination are below. I will discuss these in the next three blogs.
Step 1: Recognise that you're procrastinating
Step 2: Uncover what you are getting out of procrastinating
Step 3: Get clear on your TRUE values
Step 4: Develop a compelling vision and goals
Step 5: Understand the cycle of procrastination
Step 6: Recognise the reasons you CHOOSE to procrastinate
Step 7: Take action to overcome your self-defeating beliefs and behaviours
Stay tuned in a couple of days for Step 1. And trust me, because this is public, I have a huge incentive to deliver and not procrastinate :)
REMEMBER MY MANTRA - Life is not about NOT about finding yourself, it's about CREATING yourself :)
Welcome to my next blog. It seemed to me that I was procrastinating about doing these blogs and then I thought well since I am coaching myself, I might as well share the insights with you all. Because lets face it, if you think you have NEVER procrastinated, then I'd suggest you are seriously delusional ;)
We have all done it (whether we care to be honest with ourselves or not)!
But the REAL question is, is this a bad habit that is getting in the way for your success???
Research shows approximately 20% of the population consider themselves chronic procrastinators. Whenever I coach clients, 100% of those clients have been procrasinating about their goals or actions. So I would suggest the general public may not be as honest as they could be with themselves!
So what exactly is procrastination? The most helpful definition I can come up with is - a conscious decision/choice to put tasks off to the last possible minute (or not at all) for NO valid reason!
We procrastinate when we put things off that we think we should be focusing on right now, usually in favour of doing something that is more enjoyable and LESS important or that we’re more comfortable doing.
We have all INTENDED to do something and either put it off or not done it at all. Procrastinating is one of the most common negative self-defeating behaviours us humans have. And it is so acceptable in society that it seems to be a behaviour that most of us generally accept in ourselves and others! Furthermore, we talk about it as though it is perfectly natural!!! No wonder only 10% of people achieve true success! When 90% of the herd are happy to reinforce negative behaviours in each other. Think about it!
In any case, continuous patterns of procrastination can be a significant issue for individuals, keeping them trapped in a negative psychological cycle for months, years and I’ve known people to do it for decades!
Procrastination can be on minor things, but more often than not it is the big ticket items which can adversely affect your career and your personal life. It is worth remembering that procrastinating is NOT laziness! Laziness is you can't be bothered. Procrastinating is thinking about doing the task or actually starting to do the task and then choosing not to do it or complete it in favour of something else!
It is also worth remembering that procrastination IS NOT one of the key traits of highly successful people.
Procrastination is a self defeating behaviour, plain and simple! It is more often driven from negative self beliefs and/or trying to act outside of your true values.
Procrastinating creates a pattern of negative side effects such as frenziness, last minute dashes, adrenaline rushes, extra/late hours, stress, whingeing, beating ourselves up, feeling overwhelm, resentful and most commonly guilt. Many of us have unconscious belief systems that need to feel these negative emotions to prove a point to ourselves.
Guilt is the key outcome of procrastinating. Because the feeling of guilt can be quite painful to most of us, we do all in our power to pretend that we are not experiencing it. The best way to do that is to justify our behaviour to ourselves and others by making up excuses (whether they appear legitimate or not). Even if our excuses are based on some element of truth! Making up excuses makes us feel justified, therefore we feel better and therefore in the moment we pretend that we aren't guilty! YAY! PHEW!
But then sometime later we do feel guilty about it. And so we remind ourselves of our excuses to justify ourselves. And the cycle continues over and over again. Do you ever feel like one of them little mice on a running wheel?
So why do we do procrastinate? Sometimes because the things we are procrastinating about are things of little value to us, but big to someone else. Let’s face it, if you REALLY wanted it, you’d overcome your FEAR and just do it!
Sometimes we like to torture ourselves by fantasising about dreams that we would like, but don’t have the courage nor the true intention to do WHATEVER it takes to go after the dream and therefore we let FEAR overtake us! We then end up procrastinating and telling ourselves and others all sorts of stories and excuses to help us feel not too bad about it all!
Procrastination can be triggered for all sorts of reasons. Procrastinating habits and triggers are personal to you! So trying to do blanket tips is not going to work for you for serious procrastination issues or the long term. If procrastination is a real issue for you, coaching may have phenomenal impact on your life.
However, I will provide some generic tips on the next few blogs to help you on your short term quest.
The 7 steps to overcoming procrastination are below. I will discuss these in the next three blogs.
Step 1: Recognise that you're procrastinating
Step 2: Uncover what you are getting out of procrastinating
Step 3: Get clear on your TRUE values
Step 4: Develop a compelling vision and goals
Step 5: Understand the cycle of procrastination
Step 6: Recognise the reasons you CHOOSE to procrastinate
Step 7: Take action to overcome your self-defeating beliefs and behaviours
Stay tuned in a couple of days for Step 1. And trust me, because this is public, I have a huge incentive to deliver and not procrastinate :)
REMEMBER MY MANTRA - Life is not about NOT about finding yourself, it's about CREATING yourself :)
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
CREATING POWERFUL GOALS
“A goal properly set is halfway reached”- Abraham Lincoln
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream” - CS Lewis
“If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else” - Lawrence J. Peter
Hello all,
Recently I was leading a mentoring program for Females in IT&T (www.fitt.org.au) and some of the conversation came to setting goals.
As a coach with My Performance Coach, I often find that people are reluctant to set Powerful, Inspiring Goals prior to coming to coaching. Sometimes they have set goals and have had mixed success. Some people don’t even think they are unnecessary!
Do you seem to have an ongoing list of goals that you achieve some of and not others?
Think about all those well intentioned new year resolution you’ve set. How often did you go hard and achieve them? The odd one or two? Well you are not alone! Research shows about 20% of new year resolutions get achieved!
Goals are about taking RESPONSIBILITY for your life and your outcomes! Goals give you a sense of purpose, a direction and should be your inspiration. Goals help you establish what you will do, be and have in this world!! Without goals you are just aimlessly walking through life (like you are sleepwalking), hoping, that somehow, someway, you’ll get something that you want and if you don’t, well at least you can blame (them) out there somewhere!
Even though evidence suggests that Goal Setting is a significant part of achieving great success, most people really are not clear on how to effectively set goals to bring their ultimate future into reality.
Goals need to be realistic yet inspiring. They need to be powerfully motivating and come from a place of true toward motivation! Setting goals ensures you know exactly what you want to achieve! This creates the destination.
If you think of a goal as a destination on a map and if we assume you know exactly where you are today, then the route will become clear. The map also helps us see the different routes and if we get diverted or come across unanticipated obstacles we can see how to get back on track to get to our destination. We are also able to effectively measure our success towards our destination and continually motivate ourselves forward.
Setting inspiring goals from a place of strong motivation, enables you to get into the powerful habit of setting and achieving goals. When you start to achieve goals regularly your self-confidence soars!
There are a number of goal setting techniques which I will outline below.
However, any skill or techniques are only useful insofar as you have your head absolutely in the game.
I am often amazed at how many people (including myself on the odd occasion :) delude ourselves into believing we are good to go and just go blindly forward – sleepwalking! When it comes to inspirational, life changing or world changing goals, you need a whole other level of mindset!
Mandella didn’t become President of South Africa by having small uninspiring goals!
Phelps didn’t become an Olympic legend, with a goal of just 10 laps this morning!
Nothing can stop the with the right mental attitude from achieving goal; nothing on earth can help with the wrong mental attitude -Thomas Jefferson
As a coach and NLP practitioner, I spend a lot of my time studying success. I do so to assist myself and my clients emulate the best mindsets, skills and behaviours to achieve great success. So far, I haven’t come across anyone who has achieved phenomenal success, that didn’t have big inspirational goals. Some may say they didn’t articulate them, but they definitely were absolutely crystal clear on their goals in their mind and actions. You CANNOT achieve great success on luck alone!
Creating Powerful and Inspiring Goals
The first thing you need to know is what inspires you and what are you passionate about?
I find many people who come to coaching, have no idea to begin with. Many people don’t understand their value systems and are not feeling particularly inspired in life. Hint, if you have lots of “woulda, shoulda, coulda’s’ in your thinking, then that’s not it!!! Some people feel as though nothing in particular is inspirational. If you fall into this category I strongly recommend you consider a coach to assist you to move forward as this thinking is a strong resistance strategy to moving forward. I have watched people in this space time and time again, get disheartened, depressed or plain give up on things and just exist through life!
NO matter how much you think you want to achieve your goals your mindset will sabotage you if your motivation is not fully aligned with your vision!
STEP 1: Create a Long Term Vision. Think of a specific date 5 -30 years from now. What is it that you want to achieve? What will you be doing? Who will you be doing it with? How will you be doing it? Create a big picture vision in your head. It is often useful for whole of brain acceptance and thinking to create a vision and story board. This enables immediate recognition of your vision.
STEP 2: Create specific Goals. Now create goals that will help you achieve this vision. It is often more useful to start with the big hairy audacious goals (BHAGs) and work backwards! If you have done this well, you should have goals from now til your vision. Sometimes the medium goals are not clear to start off with. DON’T WORRY about that!! All will become clear. Just get clear on the big end goals and exactly how you are going to make a start!
STEP 3: Regular Review and Assessment. Being crystal clear in your focus is about 90% of the achievement of the goal. Take your eye off the ball and loads of nasty things can get in your way. Just ask Donald Trump! The key to achieving ALL goals is the regularly review where you are at!
And I don’t mean a quick checklist in your head. I mean a full and thorough analysis of your successes, how you got them, when you got them, what helped you. And thoroughly analysing your failures (which is only learning forward if used correctly) – what did you do, how did it go wrong (cause-effect), what caused it to go wrong, what significantly can you learn and apply.
Review your strategy and goals regularly, taking in your learning forward failures and see how quickly you start to tick off those goals!
Goal Setting Tips
• Ensure each goal is stated in the positive: Express your goals positively – To become a well known and admired successful business owner by 2018.
• Think BE, DO, HAVE: When thinking of goals think about what do you want to be (position, state of mind etc), Do (actions and behaviours) and HAVE (stuff you want)
• Only set goals that you have 100% power over: (see previous blog) I.e. how what you do (mindset, actions, behaviours) will get you what you want. Setting goals where you have to rely on others or random events to occur is not helpful to you and enables you to easily blame external factors for lack of achievement!
• Be Specific: Set a specific goal, with specific time frames. This is not as easy as it sounds. It needs to be rich in detail leaving you in no doubt about exactly what it is you are trying to achieve. Time fames can be amended later if necessary. I can’t tell you the number of times people write non-specific goals but convince themselves otherwise.
DO NOT fall into the too hard trap, so I will just make it fuzzy. If you set fuzzy goals, you will get fuzzy outcomes – end of story!! If you have a very specific goal, you will know exactly how, when, where and what you are going to be doing to achieve it. Remember, Olympians don’t have fuzzy goals like “come in first place! Or win GOLD” - They set very, very specific outcomes and know exactly what performance requirements will enable them to achieve their BHAG’s!
• Chunk it down: Make sure you chunk down your goals to bite size pieces. Create lots of milestones to celebrate on your way to fabulous success!
• Prioritise: Do have several goals with the same time frames and priorities. This will just get you into procrastination mode and you may feel overwhelmed!
• Write your goals down: If your goals ain’t written, they ain’t likely to get achieved (or the big ones in any event). People have reluctance to write them down and display them proudly because they already DO NOT believe it is possible!! If that’s the case, forget all I have said and go back to bed!
• Be realistic, but INSPIRATIONAL: It is vitally important to set goals that you THINK you can achieve. Note my language. What you think you can achieve! If you think you can’t achieve, I will lay money on the bet that you WON’T achieve it. Seen it all toooooo many times! So set inspirational, yet realistic goals to you. They should not be easily attainable, and you should have to put in a good level of effort and change to achieve the goals (otherwise they aren’t going to motivate you properly). Too hard and you’ll give up at the first couple of hurdles, too easy and you just achieve mundane little tasks! Remember great things don’t happen with minimal effort!
• Identify your BARRIERS now: Figure out what is going to stand in your way of achievement. BIG CLUE – Your thinking and behaviour will account for 95% of the barriers – fear, procrastination, etc. Also identify external barriers. KNOW how you will overcome them, otherwise, they will be effective in keeping you from your dreams! If you are not willing to overcome obstacles and barriers through hard work & persistence, again, I suggest you stay in bed and forget your goals!
Until next time, Remember - Life is not about finding yourself...Life is about creating yourself!
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream” - CS Lewis
“If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else” - Lawrence J. Peter
Hello all,
Recently I was leading a mentoring program for Females in IT&T (www.fitt.org.au) and some of the conversation came to setting goals.
As a coach with My Performance Coach, I often find that people are reluctant to set Powerful, Inspiring Goals prior to coming to coaching. Sometimes they have set goals and have had mixed success. Some people don’t even think they are unnecessary!
Do you seem to have an ongoing list of goals that you achieve some of and not others?
Think about all those well intentioned new year resolution you’ve set. How often did you go hard and achieve them? The odd one or two? Well you are not alone! Research shows about 20% of new year resolutions get achieved!
Goals are about taking RESPONSIBILITY for your life and your outcomes! Goals give you a sense of purpose, a direction and should be your inspiration. Goals help you establish what you will do, be and have in this world!! Without goals you are just aimlessly walking through life (like you are sleepwalking), hoping, that somehow, someway, you’ll get something that you want and if you don’t, well at least you can blame (them) out there somewhere!
Even though evidence suggests that Goal Setting is a significant part of achieving great success, most people really are not clear on how to effectively set goals to bring their ultimate future into reality.
Goals need to be realistic yet inspiring. They need to be powerfully motivating and come from a place of true toward motivation! Setting goals ensures you know exactly what you want to achieve! This creates the destination.
If you think of a goal as a destination on a map and if we assume you know exactly where you are today, then the route will become clear. The map also helps us see the different routes and if we get diverted or come across unanticipated obstacles we can see how to get back on track to get to our destination. We are also able to effectively measure our success towards our destination and continually motivate ourselves forward.
Setting inspiring goals from a place of strong motivation, enables you to get into the powerful habit of setting and achieving goals. When you start to achieve goals regularly your self-confidence soars!
There are a number of goal setting techniques which I will outline below.
However, any skill or techniques are only useful insofar as you have your head absolutely in the game.
I am often amazed at how many people (including myself on the odd occasion :) delude ourselves into believing we are good to go and just go blindly forward – sleepwalking! When it comes to inspirational, life changing or world changing goals, you need a whole other level of mindset!
Mandella didn’t become President of South Africa by having small uninspiring goals!
Phelps didn’t become an Olympic legend, with a goal of just 10 laps this morning!
Nothing can stop the
As a coach and NLP practitioner, I spend a lot of my time studying success. I do so to assist myself and my clients emulate the best mindsets, skills and behaviours to achieve great success. So far, I haven’t come across anyone who has achieved phenomenal success, that didn’t have big inspirational goals. Some may say they didn’t articulate them, but they definitely were absolutely crystal clear on their goals in their mind and actions. You CANNOT achieve great success on luck alone!
Creating Powerful and Inspiring Goals
The first thing you need to know is what inspires you and what are you passionate about?
I find many people who come to coaching, have no idea to begin with. Many people don’t understand their value systems and are not feeling particularly inspired in life. Hint, if you have lots of “woulda, shoulda, coulda’s’ in your thinking, then that’s not it!!! Some people feel as though nothing in particular is inspirational. If you fall into this category I strongly recommend you consider a coach to assist you to move forward as this thinking is a strong resistance strategy to moving forward. I have watched people in this space time and time again, get disheartened, depressed or plain give up on things and just exist through life!
NO matter how much you think you want to achieve your goals your mindset will sabotage you if your motivation is not fully aligned with your vision!
STEP 1: Create a Long Term Vision. Think of a specific date 5 -30 years from now. What is it that you want to achieve? What will you be doing? Who will you be doing it with? How will you be doing it? Create a big picture vision in your head. It is often useful for whole of brain acceptance and thinking to create a vision and story board. This enables immediate recognition of your vision.
STEP 2: Create specific Goals. Now create goals that will help you achieve this vision. It is often more useful to start with the big hairy audacious goals (BHAGs) and work backwards! If you have done this well, you should have goals from now til your vision. Sometimes the medium goals are not clear to start off with. DON’T WORRY about that!! All will become clear. Just get clear on the big end goals and exactly how you are going to make a start!
STEP 3: Regular Review and Assessment. Being crystal clear in your focus is about 90% of the achievement of the goal. Take your eye off the ball and loads of nasty things can get in your way. Just ask Donald Trump! The key to achieving ALL goals is the regularly review where you are at!
And I don’t mean a quick checklist in your head. I mean a full and thorough analysis of your successes, how you got them, when you got them, what helped you. And thoroughly analysing your failures (which is only learning forward if used correctly) – what did you do, how did it go wrong (cause-effect), what caused it to go wrong, what significantly can you learn and apply.
Review your strategy and goals regularly, taking in your learning forward failures and see how quickly you start to tick off those goals!
Goal Setting Tips
• Ensure each goal is stated in the positive: Express your goals positively – To become a well known and admired successful business owner by 2018.
• Think BE, DO, HAVE: When thinking of goals think about what do you want to be (position, state of mind etc), Do (actions and behaviours) and HAVE (stuff you want)
• Only set goals that you have 100% power over: (see previous blog) I.e. how what you do (mindset, actions, behaviours) will get you what you want. Setting goals where you have to rely on others or random events to occur is not helpful to you and enables you to easily blame external factors for lack of achievement!
• Be Specific: Set a specific goal, with specific time frames. This is not as easy as it sounds. It needs to be rich in detail leaving you in no doubt about exactly what it is you are trying to achieve. Time fames can be amended later if necessary. I can’t tell you the number of times people write non-specific goals but convince themselves otherwise.
DO NOT fall into the too hard trap, so I will just make it fuzzy. If you set fuzzy goals, you will get fuzzy outcomes – end of story!! If you have a very specific goal, you will know exactly how, when, where and what you are going to be doing to achieve it. Remember, Olympians don’t have fuzzy goals like “come in first place! Or win GOLD” - They set very, very specific outcomes and know exactly what performance requirements will enable them to achieve their BHAG’s!
• Chunk it down: Make sure you chunk down your goals to bite size pieces. Create lots of milestones to celebrate on your way to fabulous success!
• Prioritise: Do have several goals with the same time frames and priorities. This will just get you into procrastination mode and you may feel overwhelmed!
• Write your goals down: If your goals ain’t written, they ain’t likely to get achieved (or the big ones in any event). People have reluctance to write them down and display them proudly because they already DO NOT believe it is possible!! If that’s the case, forget all I have said and go back to bed!
• Be realistic, but INSPIRATIONAL: It is vitally important to set goals that you THINK you can achieve. Note my language. What you think you can achieve! If you think you can’t achieve, I will lay money on the bet that you WON’T achieve it. Seen it all toooooo many times! So set inspirational, yet realistic goals to you. They should not be easily attainable, and you should have to put in a good level of effort and change to achieve the goals (otherwise they aren’t going to motivate you properly). Too hard and you’ll give up at the first couple of hurdles, too easy and you just achieve mundane little tasks! Remember great things don’t happen with minimal effort!
• Identify your BARRIERS now: Figure out what is going to stand in your way of achievement. BIG CLUE – Your thinking and behaviour will account for 95% of the barriers – fear, procrastination, etc. Also identify external barriers. KNOW how you will overcome them, otherwise, they will be effective in keeping you from your dreams! If you are not willing to overcome obstacles and barriers through hard work & persistence, again, I suggest you stay in bed and forget your goals!
Until next time, Remember - Life is not about finding yourself...Life is about creating yourself!
Monday, June 7, 2010
TIME EFFECTIVE OR DEFECTIVE – PART TWO
Please read part One of this blog first and then complete the Time Effective Template Exercise, to gain the most benefit from this blog entry.
So how did you go with completing the template? To get the most out of the exercise you need to do it for at least 7 days, ideally 14 days! If you did the exercise for at least a week then you should have some very interesting data to say the least!
The first step is to analyse your data in terms of themes. Break down into themes and number of hours you spent on each theme. Make sure the themes are distinct (e.g. team meetings, project meetings, writing reports, HR admin, email etc...) This will give you some great analysis in itself!
Now ask yourself the following from your questions. Be very honest with yourself as it is only you, that you will be fooling ;) -
What are you spending your most of your time, energy and effort on?
Are those tasks absolutely critical to overall achievement of the big picture goals? I.e. The big picture goal may be to grow the business by 20% this financial year – are all the tasks you focused on delivery you that outcome or are they time distracters and wasters?
How important REALLY are the tasks you rated as important, relevant or critical? Be ruthless here! If it didn’t get done what is the absolute worst thing that happens?) If you are convinced that all these tasks are important, then the next question is do they really need to be done by you?
If you have rated the majority of tasks on your list as important talk it through with someone who will play devils advocate for you. We so often kid ourselves about our reality. Getting an external reality check is vital – especially when YOU think you are RIGHT and not fooling yourself!! You may be filling your life with little tasks that you convince yourself are important, to avoid something more significant! Be honest with yourself here, because the only person you are kidding is yourself!
Or are you spending your time on low importance, cumbersome tasks? If so, ask yourself why? What exactly are the benefits of you doing this? ALL behaviour has benefits, even the negative ones like procrastination! Are the tasks even actually worth doing in the first place? We so often waste time on idiotic tasks – like reading a 150 page report that is exceptionally interesting but actually has no application to the achievement of my goal. These things are the greatest time wasters. Facebook and other social media can be put into this bucket. Yes, I know there is a whole industry on how to make money via social media – but are you really making money? If you are making money on social media tasks then one assumes you would have classed it as critical not low importance!!!!
You may have caught onto a theme here. Your thinking and your perception is what is causing you to be time defective! As mentioned in my last blog in literally took me years to get real and work out that time effectiveness is a state of mind, a mind discipline exercise not a process or step by step how to!!!
In his book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”, Stephen Covey has a great model to help you work through what to focus on as important.
Covey states we each have a wide range of concerns in our lives – everything from our family, health, careers, work problems, national and economic problems etc. This make up your Circle of Concern. The things that concern us make up our Circle of Concern. Clearly everyone’s circle of concern will be unique to them!
There are things within our Circle of Concern, that we have no power over, real or otherwise. The things we do have power over become a smaller Circle of Influence. Control falls into three categories – “direct control (problems involving our own behaviour); indirect control (problems involving other people's behaviour); or no control (problems we can do nothing about, such as our past, or situational realities)”.
To become more effective, the trick is to focus your energy, time and effort to ONLY focus on those things that sit in your Circle of Influence. I.e. the things that we can do something about! Things that you can do and be. As you focus on your Circle of Influence you create more positive, enlarging, and magnifying energy, causing it to increase”.
Basically the model reminds us that any problem is ultimately within, not with-out or external to us! Therefore, we can empower ourselves and create and control our reality. By empowering yourself from the inside-out you permit yourself to be different, and thereby affect positive change in what's out there! For example, I can be more resourceful, I can be more diligent, I can be a better delegator. You then back it up with skills and action and you change your reality!
We can break down things within your control or Covey’s Circle of Influence, to three main areas of focus.
Effective Attitude/Mindset – E.g. Managing your thoughts around fear, motivation or lack thereof, procrastination, perceived importance of tasks, perceived control over the environment, perceived pressure (time or otherwise), seeking perfection when good enough is good enough!
Effective Managing Tasks – Manage your Meetings, Interruptions and Diaries/Schedules
Effective Skills/Behaviours - Setting Goals and Priorities, Delegation, Communication, Discipline
In the next few blogs I discuss how to be more effective in some of these areas within your control.
If you do these exercises and are still having issues with time management, you have a deeper meta program operating that is self sabatoge. The best way I know to deal with that is through a qualified NLP/CBT Coach.
Good Luck
So how did you go with completing the template? To get the most out of the exercise you need to do it for at least 7 days, ideally 14 days! If you did the exercise for at least a week then you should have some very interesting data to say the least!
The first step is to analyse your data in terms of themes. Break down into themes and number of hours you spent on each theme. Make sure the themes are distinct (e.g. team meetings, project meetings, writing reports, HR admin, email etc...) This will give you some great analysis in itself!
Now ask yourself the following from your questions. Be very honest with yourself as it is only you, that you will be fooling ;) -
What are you spending your most of your time, energy and effort on?
Are those tasks absolutely critical to overall achievement of the big picture goals? I.e. The big picture goal may be to grow the business by 20% this financial year – are all the tasks you focused on delivery you that outcome or are they time distracters and wasters?
How important REALLY are the tasks you rated as important, relevant or critical? Be ruthless here! If it didn’t get done what is the absolute worst thing that happens?) If you are convinced that all these tasks are important, then the next question is do they really need to be done by you?
If you have rated the majority of tasks on your list as important talk it through with someone who will play devils advocate for you. We so often kid ourselves about our reality. Getting an external reality check is vital – especially when YOU think you are RIGHT and not fooling yourself!! You may be filling your life with little tasks that you convince yourself are important, to avoid something more significant! Be honest with yourself here, because the only person you are kidding is yourself!
Or are you spending your time on low importance, cumbersome tasks? If so, ask yourself why? What exactly are the benefits of you doing this? ALL behaviour has benefits, even the negative ones like procrastination! Are the tasks even actually worth doing in the first place? We so often waste time on idiotic tasks – like reading a 150 page report that is exceptionally interesting but actually has no application to the achievement of my goal. These things are the greatest time wasters. Facebook and other social media can be put into this bucket. Yes, I know there is a whole industry on how to make money via social media – but are you really making money? If you are making money on social media tasks then one assumes you would have classed it as critical not low importance!!!!
You may have caught onto a theme here. Your thinking and your perception is what is causing you to be time defective! As mentioned in my last blog in literally took me years to get real and work out that time effectiveness is a state of mind, a mind discipline exercise not a process or step by step how to!!!
In his book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”, Stephen Covey has a great model to help you work through what to focus on as important.
Covey states we each have a wide range of concerns in our lives – everything from our family, health, careers, work problems, national and economic problems etc. This make up your Circle of Concern. The things that concern us make up our Circle of Concern. Clearly everyone’s circle of concern will be unique to them!
There are things within our Circle of Concern, that we have no power over, real or otherwise. The things we do have power over become a smaller Circle of Influence. Control falls into three categories – “direct control (problems involving our own behaviour); indirect control (problems involving other people's behaviour); or no control (problems we can do nothing about, such as our past, or situational realities)”.
To become more effective, the trick is to focus your energy, time and effort to ONLY focus on those things that sit in your Circle of Influence. I.e. the things that we can do something about! Things that you can do and be. As you focus on your Circle of Influence you create more positive, enlarging, and magnifying energy, causing it to increase”.
Basically the model reminds us that any problem is ultimately within, not with-out or external to us! Therefore, we can empower ourselves and create and control our reality. By empowering yourself from the inside-out you permit yourself to be different, and thereby affect positive change in what's out there! For example, I can be more resourceful, I can be more diligent, I can be a better delegator. You then back it up with skills and action and you change your reality!
We can break down things within your control or Covey’s Circle of Influence, to three main areas of focus.
Effective Attitude/Mindset – E.g. Managing your thoughts around fear, motivation or lack thereof, procrastination, perceived importance of tasks, perceived control over the environment, perceived pressure (time or otherwise), seeking perfection when good enough is good enough!
Effective Managing Tasks – Manage your Meetings, Interruptions and Diaries/Schedules
Effective Skills/Behaviours - Setting Goals and Priorities, Delegation, Communication, Discipline
In the next few blogs I discuss how to be more effective in some of these areas within your control.
If you do these exercises and are still having issues with time management, you have a deeper meta program operating that is self sabatoge. The best way I know to deal with that is through a qualified NLP/CBT Coach.
Good Luck
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