Ok, so by now you are getting insights into what is REALLY driving your procrastination. The biggest thing to know is what is your highest level fear driver? Which one is driving your behaviour? If this is the first time you are reading this blog, please review the previous three entries first.
The real reason you are procrastinating relates to one of the those fears (or something similar in your construct of the world). In CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Technique), the premise is that people procrastinate or do other unhelpful behaviours because they have unhelpful rules and assumptions, related to fears.
Another way to think about motivation of your behaviour is known as “Towards or Away from Motivation”. In my experience understanding this model is key to helping you overcome your issue! In a nutshell, all humans have a preference for pleasure (happiness, good things etc) and we dislike pain (emotional or physical pain, bad things).
Therefore, our behaviour is motivated TOWARDS PLEASURE and AWAY FROM PAIN. Most of us fool ourselves into thinking that we are being motivated toward our goals, however, if you are putting up barriers to achievement (such as procrastination) then you are actually being motivated from AWAY from motivation!
The best way to know what your motivation is for sure is to look at your actual behaviour whilst trying to achieve your goal. If your behaviour/motivation is patchy (up and down) and you are having to push yourself and exert lots of effort, and then procrastinating then you are actually fighting yourself unconsciously. When people are NOT moving CONSISTENTLY towards achieving their goals, their motivation is actually coming from fear (or away from motivation).
Therefore recognising and releasing your fear is the best way to overcome your procrastination. A good coach can take you through a number of processes to release fears. NLP and CBT techniques are highly effective in achieving this. In order to move forward you need to identify what is really holding you back and then disputing the truth of that unhelpful belief or assumption. You can get started by using our Overcoming Procrastination template.
Step 3: Get clear on your TRUE values
Sometimes part of the reason that you are procrastinating is because you are not acting in line with your true values. So getting clear on your real values is important. As this process in in-depth I cannot go into it this on a blog, however, you need to know that your true values are about valuing things you already do and have.
Too many people confuse their expectations or goals with their values! E.g. I value wealth creation, yet I live week to week – i.e. your reality is week by week living (current behaviour) and you desire wealth (your goal)
If you are operating outside of your real values the biggest clue is that if something takes too much effort then there is a very strong chance that you are telling yourself you value it, because “you should”! Whenever we tell ourselves we ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ being doing something, we are normally out of alignment with our values and in alignment with other people’s expectations of us (real or imagined)! Assess whether it really is congruent with your TRUE values.
Identifying your real values is in-depth and an experienced coach can help you tap into this. Please be aware of ‘free’ value assessment tools. These tools generally only feed your delusions about your values, and do not help you identify your real, true values! My Performance Coaches works with the powerful tools that help you identify your true values.
Step 4: Develop a compelling vision and goals
Develop a compelling long term vision (10-15 years) and clear, realistic and goals. Write it down in detail. If you have already done this and NOT moving forwards, the chances are, you don’t believe it to be true or you have created goals and visions that are unrealistic or not congruent with your values. Again a professional coach can assist you do this at both a conscious and unconscious level to deeply embed these into your psyche.
Step 5: Understanding the Cycle of Procrastination
So we now have all the information you need to change your behaviour. Before I give you tips in the next blog to help you overcome your procrastination, let’s look at the procrastination cycle.
Stage one of the cycle is that you contemplate doing the task/goal. This triggers stage two (which you now should be consciously aware of) which is the unhelpful beliefs, assumptions, fears and conclusions. Then if these unhelpful beliefs are undisputed, discomfort avoidance techniques kick in (e.g. you first start to justify why you can’t do the task and then take alternative or no action). This then enables stage four which normally creates dual pay-offs for you. This continues until the next time you contemplate the task/goal and around you go again.
Hopefully by now you are really starting to understand the true nature of procrastination. The next blog will be the last in the series and will help you with tips to overcome these unhelpful behaviours.
My Performance Coach specialises in Career Coaching for professionals. We help you get unstuck, positively motivated and inspired to create the career of your dreams! Our aim is to empower and enable each and every client to develop a compelling vision, inspiring goals and to achieve the success they wish to create in their lives. Our qualified coaches do this through a structured and professional process combining profiling tools, supportive environment, a variety of different coaching methodologies, and sophisticated one-on-one training to expand and inspire growth and learning for our clients.
Showing posts with label vision. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vision. Show all posts
Monday, August 23, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
CREATING POWERFUL GOALS
“A goal properly set is halfway reached”- Abraham Lincoln
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream” - CS Lewis
“If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else” - Lawrence J. Peter
Hello all,
Recently I was leading a mentoring program for Females in IT&T (www.fitt.org.au) and some of the conversation came to setting goals.
As a coach with My Performance Coach, I often find that people are reluctant to set Powerful, Inspiring Goals prior to coming to coaching. Sometimes they have set goals and have had mixed success. Some people don’t even think they are unnecessary!
Do you seem to have an ongoing list of goals that you achieve some of and not others?
Think about all those well intentioned new year resolution you’ve set. How often did you go hard and achieve them? The odd one or two? Well you are not alone! Research shows about 20% of new year resolutions get achieved!
Goals are about taking RESPONSIBILITY for your life and your outcomes! Goals give you a sense of purpose, a direction and should be your inspiration. Goals help you establish what you will do, be and have in this world!! Without goals you are just aimlessly walking through life (like you are sleepwalking), hoping, that somehow, someway, you’ll get something that you want and if you don’t, well at least you can blame (them) out there somewhere!
Even though evidence suggests that Goal Setting is a significant part of achieving great success, most people really are not clear on how to effectively set goals to bring their ultimate future into reality.
Goals need to be realistic yet inspiring. They need to be powerfully motivating and come from a place of true toward motivation! Setting goals ensures you know exactly what you want to achieve! This creates the destination.
If you think of a goal as a destination on a map and if we assume you know exactly where you are today, then the route will become clear. The map also helps us see the different routes and if we get diverted or come across unanticipated obstacles we can see how to get back on track to get to our destination. We are also able to effectively measure our success towards our destination and continually motivate ourselves forward.
Setting inspiring goals from a place of strong motivation, enables you to get into the powerful habit of setting and achieving goals. When you start to achieve goals regularly your self-confidence soars!
There are a number of goal setting techniques which I will outline below.
However, any skill or techniques are only useful insofar as you have your head absolutely in the game.
I am often amazed at how many people (including myself on the odd occasion :) delude ourselves into believing we are good to go and just go blindly forward – sleepwalking! When it comes to inspirational, life changing or world changing goals, you need a whole other level of mindset!
Mandella didn’t become President of South Africa by having small uninspiring goals!
Phelps didn’t become an Olympic legend, with a goal of just 10 laps this morning!
Nothing can stop the with the right mental attitude from achieving goal; nothing on earth can help with the wrong mental attitude -Thomas Jefferson
As a coach and NLP practitioner, I spend a lot of my time studying success. I do so to assist myself and my clients emulate the best mindsets, skills and behaviours to achieve great success. So far, I haven’t come across anyone who has achieved phenomenal success, that didn’t have big inspirational goals. Some may say they didn’t articulate them, but they definitely were absolutely crystal clear on their goals in their mind and actions. You CANNOT achieve great success on luck alone!
Creating Powerful and Inspiring Goals
The first thing you need to know is what inspires you and what are you passionate about?
I find many people who come to coaching, have no idea to begin with. Many people don’t understand their value systems and are not feeling particularly inspired in life. Hint, if you have lots of “woulda, shoulda, coulda’s’ in your thinking, then that’s not it!!! Some people feel as though nothing in particular is inspirational. If you fall into this category I strongly recommend you consider a coach to assist you to move forward as this thinking is a strong resistance strategy to moving forward. I have watched people in this space time and time again, get disheartened, depressed or plain give up on things and just exist through life!
NO matter how much you think you want to achieve your goals your mindset will sabotage you if your motivation is not fully aligned with your vision!
STEP 1: Create a Long Term Vision. Think of a specific date 5 -30 years from now. What is it that you want to achieve? What will you be doing? Who will you be doing it with? How will you be doing it? Create a big picture vision in your head. It is often useful for whole of brain acceptance and thinking to create a vision and story board. This enables immediate recognition of your vision.
STEP 2: Create specific Goals. Now create goals that will help you achieve this vision. It is often more useful to start with the big hairy audacious goals (BHAGs) and work backwards! If you have done this well, you should have goals from now til your vision. Sometimes the medium goals are not clear to start off with. DON’T WORRY about that!! All will become clear. Just get clear on the big end goals and exactly how you are going to make a start!
STEP 3: Regular Review and Assessment. Being crystal clear in your focus is about 90% of the achievement of the goal. Take your eye off the ball and loads of nasty things can get in your way. Just ask Donald Trump! The key to achieving ALL goals is the regularly review where you are at!
And I don’t mean a quick checklist in your head. I mean a full and thorough analysis of your successes, how you got them, when you got them, what helped you. And thoroughly analysing your failures (which is only learning forward if used correctly) – what did you do, how did it go wrong (cause-effect), what caused it to go wrong, what significantly can you learn and apply.
Review your strategy and goals regularly, taking in your learning forward failures and see how quickly you start to tick off those goals!
Goal Setting Tips
• Ensure each goal is stated in the positive: Express your goals positively – To become a well known and admired successful business owner by 2018.
• Think BE, DO, HAVE: When thinking of goals think about what do you want to be (position, state of mind etc), Do (actions and behaviours) and HAVE (stuff you want)
• Only set goals that you have 100% power over: (see previous blog) I.e. how what you do (mindset, actions, behaviours) will get you what you want. Setting goals where you have to rely on others or random events to occur is not helpful to you and enables you to easily blame external factors for lack of achievement!
• Be Specific: Set a specific goal, with specific time frames. This is not as easy as it sounds. It needs to be rich in detail leaving you in no doubt about exactly what it is you are trying to achieve. Time fames can be amended later if necessary. I can’t tell you the number of times people write non-specific goals but convince themselves otherwise.
DO NOT fall into the too hard trap, so I will just make it fuzzy. If you set fuzzy goals, you will get fuzzy outcomes – end of story!! If you have a very specific goal, you will know exactly how, when, where and what you are going to be doing to achieve it. Remember, Olympians don’t have fuzzy goals like “come in first place! Or win GOLD” - They set very, very specific outcomes and know exactly what performance requirements will enable them to achieve their BHAG’s!
• Chunk it down: Make sure you chunk down your goals to bite size pieces. Create lots of milestones to celebrate on your way to fabulous success!
• Prioritise: Do have several goals with the same time frames and priorities. This will just get you into procrastination mode and you may feel overwhelmed!
• Write your goals down: If your goals ain’t written, they ain’t likely to get achieved (or the big ones in any event). People have reluctance to write them down and display them proudly because they already DO NOT believe it is possible!! If that’s the case, forget all I have said and go back to bed!
• Be realistic, but INSPIRATIONAL: It is vitally important to set goals that you THINK you can achieve. Note my language. What you think you can achieve! If you think you can’t achieve, I will lay money on the bet that you WON’T achieve it. Seen it all toooooo many times! So set inspirational, yet realistic goals to you. They should not be easily attainable, and you should have to put in a good level of effort and change to achieve the goals (otherwise they aren’t going to motivate you properly). Too hard and you’ll give up at the first couple of hurdles, too easy and you just achieve mundane little tasks! Remember great things don’t happen with minimal effort!
• Identify your BARRIERS now: Figure out what is going to stand in your way of achievement. BIG CLUE – Your thinking and behaviour will account for 95% of the barriers – fear, procrastination, etc. Also identify external barriers. KNOW how you will overcome them, otherwise, they will be effective in keeping you from your dreams! If you are not willing to overcome obstacles and barriers through hard work & persistence, again, I suggest you stay in bed and forget your goals!
Until next time, Remember - Life is not about finding yourself...Life is about creating yourself!
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream” - CS Lewis
“If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else” - Lawrence J. Peter
Hello all,
Recently I was leading a mentoring program for Females in IT&T (www.fitt.org.au) and some of the conversation came to setting goals.
As a coach with My Performance Coach, I often find that people are reluctant to set Powerful, Inspiring Goals prior to coming to coaching. Sometimes they have set goals and have had mixed success. Some people don’t even think they are unnecessary!
Do you seem to have an ongoing list of goals that you achieve some of and not others?
Think about all those well intentioned new year resolution you’ve set. How often did you go hard and achieve them? The odd one or two? Well you are not alone! Research shows about 20% of new year resolutions get achieved!
Goals are about taking RESPONSIBILITY for your life and your outcomes! Goals give you a sense of purpose, a direction and should be your inspiration. Goals help you establish what you will do, be and have in this world!! Without goals you are just aimlessly walking through life (like you are sleepwalking), hoping, that somehow, someway, you’ll get something that you want and if you don’t, well at least you can blame (them) out there somewhere!
Even though evidence suggests that Goal Setting is a significant part of achieving great success, most people really are not clear on how to effectively set goals to bring their ultimate future into reality.
Goals need to be realistic yet inspiring. They need to be powerfully motivating and come from a place of true toward motivation! Setting goals ensures you know exactly what you want to achieve! This creates the destination.
If you think of a goal as a destination on a map and if we assume you know exactly where you are today, then the route will become clear. The map also helps us see the different routes and if we get diverted or come across unanticipated obstacles we can see how to get back on track to get to our destination. We are also able to effectively measure our success towards our destination and continually motivate ourselves forward.
Setting inspiring goals from a place of strong motivation, enables you to get into the powerful habit of setting and achieving goals. When you start to achieve goals regularly your self-confidence soars!
There are a number of goal setting techniques which I will outline below.
However, any skill or techniques are only useful insofar as you have your head absolutely in the game.
I am often amazed at how many people (including myself on the odd occasion :) delude ourselves into believing we are good to go and just go blindly forward – sleepwalking! When it comes to inspirational, life changing or world changing goals, you need a whole other level of mindset!
Mandella didn’t become President of South Africa by having small uninspiring goals!
Phelps didn’t become an Olympic legend, with a goal of just 10 laps this morning!
Nothing can stop the
As a coach and NLP practitioner, I spend a lot of my time studying success. I do so to assist myself and my clients emulate the best mindsets, skills and behaviours to achieve great success. So far, I haven’t come across anyone who has achieved phenomenal success, that didn’t have big inspirational goals. Some may say they didn’t articulate them, but they definitely were absolutely crystal clear on their goals in their mind and actions. You CANNOT achieve great success on luck alone!
Creating Powerful and Inspiring Goals
The first thing you need to know is what inspires you and what are you passionate about?
I find many people who come to coaching, have no idea to begin with. Many people don’t understand their value systems and are not feeling particularly inspired in life. Hint, if you have lots of “woulda, shoulda, coulda’s’ in your thinking, then that’s not it!!! Some people feel as though nothing in particular is inspirational. If you fall into this category I strongly recommend you consider a coach to assist you to move forward as this thinking is a strong resistance strategy to moving forward. I have watched people in this space time and time again, get disheartened, depressed or plain give up on things and just exist through life!
NO matter how much you think you want to achieve your goals your mindset will sabotage you if your motivation is not fully aligned with your vision!
STEP 1: Create a Long Term Vision. Think of a specific date 5 -30 years from now. What is it that you want to achieve? What will you be doing? Who will you be doing it with? How will you be doing it? Create a big picture vision in your head. It is often useful for whole of brain acceptance and thinking to create a vision and story board. This enables immediate recognition of your vision.
STEP 2: Create specific Goals. Now create goals that will help you achieve this vision. It is often more useful to start with the big hairy audacious goals (BHAGs) and work backwards! If you have done this well, you should have goals from now til your vision. Sometimes the medium goals are not clear to start off with. DON’T WORRY about that!! All will become clear. Just get clear on the big end goals and exactly how you are going to make a start!
STEP 3: Regular Review and Assessment. Being crystal clear in your focus is about 90% of the achievement of the goal. Take your eye off the ball and loads of nasty things can get in your way. Just ask Donald Trump! The key to achieving ALL goals is the regularly review where you are at!
And I don’t mean a quick checklist in your head. I mean a full and thorough analysis of your successes, how you got them, when you got them, what helped you. And thoroughly analysing your failures (which is only learning forward if used correctly) – what did you do, how did it go wrong (cause-effect), what caused it to go wrong, what significantly can you learn and apply.
Review your strategy and goals regularly, taking in your learning forward failures and see how quickly you start to tick off those goals!
Goal Setting Tips
• Ensure each goal is stated in the positive: Express your goals positively – To become a well known and admired successful business owner by 2018.
• Think BE, DO, HAVE: When thinking of goals think about what do you want to be (position, state of mind etc), Do (actions and behaviours) and HAVE (stuff you want)
• Only set goals that you have 100% power over: (see previous blog) I.e. how what you do (mindset, actions, behaviours) will get you what you want. Setting goals where you have to rely on others or random events to occur is not helpful to you and enables you to easily blame external factors for lack of achievement!
• Be Specific: Set a specific goal, with specific time frames. This is not as easy as it sounds. It needs to be rich in detail leaving you in no doubt about exactly what it is you are trying to achieve. Time fames can be amended later if necessary. I can’t tell you the number of times people write non-specific goals but convince themselves otherwise.
DO NOT fall into the too hard trap, so I will just make it fuzzy. If you set fuzzy goals, you will get fuzzy outcomes – end of story!! If you have a very specific goal, you will know exactly how, when, where and what you are going to be doing to achieve it. Remember, Olympians don’t have fuzzy goals like “come in first place! Or win GOLD” - They set very, very specific outcomes and know exactly what performance requirements will enable them to achieve their BHAG’s!
• Chunk it down: Make sure you chunk down your goals to bite size pieces. Create lots of milestones to celebrate on your way to fabulous success!
• Prioritise: Do have several goals with the same time frames and priorities. This will just get you into procrastination mode and you may feel overwhelmed!
• Write your goals down: If your goals ain’t written, they ain’t likely to get achieved (or the big ones in any event). People have reluctance to write them down and display them proudly because they already DO NOT believe it is possible!! If that’s the case, forget all I have said and go back to bed!
• Be realistic, but INSPIRATIONAL: It is vitally important to set goals that you THINK you can achieve. Note my language. What you think you can achieve! If you think you can’t achieve, I will lay money on the bet that you WON’T achieve it. Seen it all toooooo many times! So set inspirational, yet realistic goals to you. They should not be easily attainable, and you should have to put in a good level of effort and change to achieve the goals (otherwise they aren’t going to motivate you properly). Too hard and you’ll give up at the first couple of hurdles, too easy and you just achieve mundane little tasks! Remember great things don’t happen with minimal effort!
• Identify your BARRIERS now: Figure out what is going to stand in your way of achievement. BIG CLUE – Your thinking and behaviour will account for 95% of the barriers – fear, procrastination, etc. Also identify external barriers. KNOW how you will overcome them, otherwise, they will be effective in keeping you from your dreams! If you are not willing to overcome obstacles and barriers through hard work & persistence, again, I suggest you stay in bed and forget your goals!
Until next time, Remember - Life is not about finding yourself...Life is about creating yourself!
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