So did you meet the August 8 deadline? Apologies for my lateness! With all good intentions, I failed to take into account that some parts of OZ have no mobile or internet coverage! I guess better late than never! So onto Step 2.
Step 2: Uncover what you are getting out of procrastinating?
So what did the previous exercise tell you? What insights did you get I wonder?
Now it’s time to understand what you are actually getting out of procrastination! This takes some in-depth exploration. You may find it useful to discuss your answers with someone who knows you well and has had the opportunity to observe your behaviour consistently for at least six months. Otherwise, a good coach will speed this process up and help you get these answers quickly and efficiently. A good coach nails this stuff with you in a few sessions if you really want to overcome it!
What pay-offs are you getting? You really need to understand these. The obvious ones are what positives you get out of procrastinating, and more importantly what you get to avoid doing!
More often than not though, the REAL pay-off is an unconscious motivator. By virtue of it being ‘unconscious’ you are unlikely to be able to point to the answer quickly. A pay-off is generally associated with a negative driver (significant negative subconscious self belief). This subject is too sensitive and involved to discuss in a blog. However some of the more obvious and more common ones are “I’m not good enough”, “I/things must be perfect”, “I’m not strong enough”, I can’t cope”, “I can’t do anything right” etc.....
Be careful not to just accept what comes to you first up. This is just your psyche dishing up the same old same old. The real insight is harder to grasp! This is where a skilled and experienced coach can help you nail the REAL reason for your behaviour.
For instance, you may perceive that the pay off you get by not doing your admin tasks every week in your small business, is that you get to AVOID BORING TASKS and you have WAY more important tasks to do. But actually the real meaning you are attaching to it, when you really drill down is that you are fearful that your profit is not on target. So whilst our logical mind knows you may have a financial issue, thinking that its probable and knowing for a fact are two different things!! Because the latter actually means you will need to do something about it if you do not wish to make the situation worse, procrastination is helping you put off the pain of knowing! So the real reason is your fear of serious financial loss!
I know most people dislike the idea that their behaviour is often motivated by fear, and many out-rightly reject it (which is just a resistance mechanism) but most of our behaviour, particularly behaviour that is a disservice to us is motivated by fear!!
Without going into a great deal of explanation about it, there are 7 main fears that drive most of our behaviour. If you keep drilling down and asking yourself honestly what you fear, your answer will be based on one of the following:-
1. Fear of breaking away from a value system held by society (e.g. law, church, professional)
2. Fear of poor mental capability (e.g. not smart enough, not educated enough)
3. Fear of failure/success (coming up short, not good enough)
4. Fear of financial loss (e.g. bankruptcy, not enough money)
5. Fear of losing loved ones (e.g. death, disownment, leaving you)
6. Fear of societal rejection (not fitting in, not being liked)
7. Fear of poor physical capability (e.g. not strong enough, not tall enough)
Now it may seem to you that fear driving your behaviour doesn't make sense, since procrastination is just putting off the inevitable. Well you'd be right! It doesn't to your logical mind!!! But your psyche (sub conscious mind) is trying to protect you from having to face the pain of your fear, so procrastination is the key strategy of avoidance it uses to achieve that goal.
However procrastination can be a highly effective strategy. Many people delay pursuing their dreams and allowing their fears to run their whole life without ever acknowledging they lived out a fear based protection mechanism. Think about those people you've heard say, I would have, could have, should have done x, y, or z - yes, they are living examples of this process in practice.
So the REAL question is, do you really want to be doing the woulda, shoulda, coulda gig for the next 10, 20, 30 - 70 years or do you want to live your life and achieve your dreams???
If you are about the latter, then you really need to work out what is really driving your procrastination? Get to the answer and release yourself from this current level of procrastination!
More explanation on this next week. Until then....
Get Cracking ;)
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