Ok, so by now you are getting insights into what is REALLY driving your procrastination. The biggest thing to know is what is your highest level fear driver? Which one is driving your behaviour? If this is the first time you are reading this blog, please review the previous three entries first.
The real reason you are procrastinating relates to one of the those fears (or something similar in your construct of the world). In CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Technique), the premise is that people procrastinate or do other unhelpful behaviours because they have unhelpful rules and assumptions, related to fears.
Another way to think about motivation of your behaviour is known as “Towards or Away from Motivation”. In my experience understanding this model is key to helping you overcome your issue! In a nutshell, all humans have a preference for pleasure (happiness, good things etc) and we dislike pain (emotional or physical pain, bad things).
Therefore, our behaviour is motivated TOWARDS PLEASURE and AWAY FROM PAIN. Most of us fool ourselves into thinking that we are being motivated toward our goals, however, if you are putting up barriers to achievement (such as procrastination) then you are actually being motivated from AWAY from motivation!
The best way to know what your motivation is for sure is to look at your actual behaviour whilst trying to achieve your goal. If your behaviour/motivation is patchy (up and down) and you are having to push yourself and exert lots of effort, and then procrastinating then you are actually fighting yourself unconsciously. When people are NOT moving CONSISTENTLY towards achieving their goals, their motivation is actually coming from fear (or away from motivation).
Therefore recognising and releasing your fear is the best way to overcome your procrastination. A good coach can take you through a number of processes to release fears. NLP and CBT techniques are highly effective in achieving this. In order to move forward you need to identify what is really holding you back and then disputing the truth of that unhelpful belief or assumption. You can get started by using our Overcoming Procrastination template.
Step 3: Get clear on your TRUE values
Sometimes part of the reason that you are procrastinating is because you are not acting in line with your true values. So getting clear on your real values is important. As this process in in-depth I cannot go into it this on a blog, however, you need to know that your true values are about valuing things you already do and have.
Too many people confuse their expectations or goals with their values! E.g. I value wealth creation, yet I live week to week – i.e. your reality is week by week living (current behaviour) and you desire wealth (your goal)
If you are operating outside of your real values the biggest clue is that if something takes too much effort then there is a very strong chance that you are telling yourself you value it, because “you should”! Whenever we tell ourselves we ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ being doing something, we are normally out of alignment with our values and in alignment with other people’s expectations of us (real or imagined)! Assess whether it really is congruent with your TRUE values.
Identifying your real values is in-depth and an experienced coach can help you tap into this. Please be aware of ‘free’ value assessment tools. These tools generally only feed your delusions about your values, and do not help you identify your real, true values! My Performance Coaches works with the powerful tools that help you identify your true values.
Step 4: Develop a compelling vision and goals
Develop a compelling long term vision (10-15 years) and clear, realistic and goals. Write it down in detail. If you have already done this and NOT moving forwards, the chances are, you don’t believe it to be true or you have created goals and visions that are unrealistic or not congruent with your values. Again a professional coach can assist you do this at both a conscious and unconscious level to deeply embed these into your psyche.
Step 5: Understanding the Cycle of Procrastination
So we now have all the information you need to change your behaviour. Before I give you tips in the next blog to help you overcome your procrastination, let’s look at the procrastination cycle.
Stage one of the cycle is that you contemplate doing the task/goal. This triggers stage two (which you now should be consciously aware of) which is the unhelpful beliefs, assumptions, fears and conclusions. Then if these unhelpful beliefs are undisputed, discomfort avoidance techniques kick in (e.g. you first start to justify why you can’t do the task and then take alternative or no action). This then enables stage four which normally creates dual pay-offs for you. This continues until the next time you contemplate the task/goal and around you go again.
Hopefully by now you are really starting to understand the true nature of procrastination. The next blog will be the last in the series and will help you with tips to overcome these unhelpful behaviours.
My Performance Coach specialises in Career Coaching for professionals. We help you get unstuck, positively motivated and inspired to create the career of your dreams! Our aim is to empower and enable each and every client to develop a compelling vision, inspiring goals and to achieve the success they wish to create in their lives. Our qualified coaches do this through a structured and professional process combining profiling tools, supportive environment, a variety of different coaching methodologies, and sophisticated one-on-one training to expand and inspire growth and learning for our clients.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Procrastination - Part Three....
So did you meet the August 8 deadline? Apologies for my lateness! With all good intentions, I failed to take into account that some parts of OZ have no mobile or internet coverage! I guess better late than never! So onto Step 2.
Step 2: Uncover what you are getting out of procrastinating?
So what did the previous exercise tell you? What insights did you get I wonder?
Now it’s time to understand what you are actually getting out of procrastination! This takes some in-depth exploration. You may find it useful to discuss your answers with someone who knows you well and has had the opportunity to observe your behaviour consistently for at least six months. Otherwise, a good coach will speed this process up and help you get these answers quickly and efficiently. A good coach nails this stuff with you in a few sessions if you really want to overcome it!
What pay-offs are you getting? You really need to understand these. The obvious ones are what positives you get out of procrastinating, and more importantly what you get to avoid doing!
More often than not though, the REAL pay-off is an unconscious motivator. By virtue of it being ‘unconscious’ you are unlikely to be able to point to the answer quickly. A pay-off is generally associated with a negative driver (significant negative subconscious self belief). This subject is too sensitive and involved to discuss in a blog. However some of the more obvious and more common ones are “I’m not good enough”, “I/things must be perfect”, “I’m not strong enough”, I can’t cope”, “I can’t do anything right” etc.....
Be careful not to just accept what comes to you first up. This is just your psyche dishing up the same old same old. The real insight is harder to grasp! This is where a skilled and experienced coach can help you nail the REAL reason for your behaviour.
For instance, you may perceive that the pay off you get by not doing your admin tasks every week in your small business, is that you get to AVOID BORING TASKS and you have WAY more important tasks to do. But actually the real meaning you are attaching to it, when you really drill down is that you are fearful that your profit is not on target. So whilst our logical mind knows you may have a financial issue, thinking that its probable and knowing for a fact are two different things!! Because the latter actually means you will need to do something about it if you do not wish to make the situation worse, procrastination is helping you put off the pain of knowing! So the real reason is your fear of serious financial loss!
I know most people dislike the idea that their behaviour is often motivated by fear, and many out-rightly reject it (which is just a resistance mechanism) but most of our behaviour, particularly behaviour that is a disservice to us is motivated by fear!!
Without going into a great deal of explanation about it, there are 7 main fears that drive most of our behaviour. If you keep drilling down and asking yourself honestly what you fear, your answer will be based on one of the following:-
1. Fear of breaking away from a value system held by society (e.g. law, church, professional)
2. Fear of poor mental capability (e.g. not smart enough, not educated enough)
3. Fear of failure/success (coming up short, not good enough)
4. Fear of financial loss (e.g. bankruptcy, not enough money)
5. Fear of losing loved ones (e.g. death, disownment, leaving you)
6. Fear of societal rejection (not fitting in, not being liked)
7. Fear of poor physical capability (e.g. not strong enough, not tall enough)
Now it may seem to you that fear driving your behaviour doesn't make sense, since procrastination is just putting off the inevitable. Well you'd be right! It doesn't to your logical mind!!! But your psyche (sub conscious mind) is trying to protect you from having to face the pain of your fear, so procrastination is the key strategy of avoidance it uses to achieve that goal.
However procrastination can be a highly effective strategy. Many people delay pursuing their dreams and allowing their fears to run their whole life without ever acknowledging they lived out a fear based protection mechanism. Think about those people you've heard say, I would have, could have, should have done x, y, or z - yes, they are living examples of this process in practice.
So the REAL question is, do you really want to be doing the woulda, shoulda, coulda gig for the next 10, 20, 30 - 70 years or do you want to live your life and achieve your dreams???
If you are about the latter, then you really need to work out what is really driving your procrastination? Get to the answer and release yourself from this current level of procrastination!
More explanation on this next week. Until then....
Get Cracking ;)
Step 2: Uncover what you are getting out of procrastinating?
So what did the previous exercise tell you? What insights did you get I wonder?
Now it’s time to understand what you are actually getting out of procrastination! This takes some in-depth exploration. You may find it useful to discuss your answers with someone who knows you well and has had the opportunity to observe your behaviour consistently for at least six months. Otherwise, a good coach will speed this process up and help you get these answers quickly and efficiently. A good coach nails this stuff with you in a few sessions if you really want to overcome it!
What pay-offs are you getting? You really need to understand these. The obvious ones are what positives you get out of procrastinating, and more importantly what you get to avoid doing!
More often than not though, the REAL pay-off is an unconscious motivator. By virtue of it being ‘unconscious’ you are unlikely to be able to point to the answer quickly. A pay-off is generally associated with a negative driver (significant negative subconscious self belief). This subject is too sensitive and involved to discuss in a blog. However some of the more obvious and more common ones are “I’m not good enough”, “I/things must be perfect”, “I’m not strong enough”, I can’t cope”, “I can’t do anything right” etc.....
Be careful not to just accept what comes to you first up. This is just your psyche dishing up the same old same old. The real insight is harder to grasp! This is where a skilled and experienced coach can help you nail the REAL reason for your behaviour.
For instance, you may perceive that the pay off you get by not doing your admin tasks every week in your small business, is that you get to AVOID BORING TASKS and you have WAY more important tasks to do. But actually the real meaning you are attaching to it, when you really drill down is that you are fearful that your profit is not on target. So whilst our logical mind knows you may have a financial issue, thinking that its probable and knowing for a fact are two different things!! Because the latter actually means you will need to do something about it if you do not wish to make the situation worse, procrastination is helping you put off the pain of knowing! So the real reason is your fear of serious financial loss!
I know most people dislike the idea that their behaviour is often motivated by fear, and many out-rightly reject it (which is just a resistance mechanism) but most of our behaviour, particularly behaviour that is a disservice to us is motivated by fear!!
Without going into a great deal of explanation about it, there are 7 main fears that drive most of our behaviour. If you keep drilling down and asking yourself honestly what you fear, your answer will be based on one of the following:-
1. Fear of breaking away from a value system held by society (e.g. law, church, professional)
2. Fear of poor mental capability (e.g. not smart enough, not educated enough)
3. Fear of failure/success (coming up short, not good enough)
4. Fear of financial loss (e.g. bankruptcy, not enough money)
5. Fear of losing loved ones (e.g. death, disownment, leaving you)
6. Fear of societal rejection (not fitting in, not being liked)
7. Fear of poor physical capability (e.g. not strong enough, not tall enough)
Now it may seem to you that fear driving your behaviour doesn't make sense, since procrastination is just putting off the inevitable. Well you'd be right! It doesn't to your logical mind!!! But your psyche (sub conscious mind) is trying to protect you from having to face the pain of your fear, so procrastination is the key strategy of avoidance it uses to achieve that goal.
However procrastination can be a highly effective strategy. Many people delay pursuing their dreams and allowing their fears to run their whole life without ever acknowledging they lived out a fear based protection mechanism. Think about those people you've heard say, I would have, could have, should have done x, y, or z - yes, they are living examples of this process in practice.
So the REAL question is, do you really want to be doing the woulda, shoulda, coulda gig for the next 10, 20, 30 - 70 years or do you want to live your life and achieve your dreams???
If you are about the latter, then you really need to work out what is really driving your procrastination? Get to the answer and release yourself from this current level of procrastination!
More explanation on this next week. Until then....
Get Cracking ;)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)